Discussing eczema with family members

Questions and discussions about your bodies and their parts.
Raffles
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Discussing eczema with family members

Unread post by Raffles »

Hi!

I've had eczema (itchy skin condition) my whole life. It's mostly under control, doesn't really have much of a negative impact on my life, and I've learned to feel neutral about it in terms of body image. However, I don't really know how to talk about it with my family.

On the few times it makes me feel sad and I try to bring it up, they minimize it and remind me that other people have real health issues, like lyme disease or crohn's. On the other hand, sometimes they'll say things out of the blue like, "Your skin looks so bad," or "You're really rashy right now" which makes me feel bad because they're point it out and clearly have been looking at it enough to notice and make a comment.

I'm having a bit of a flare up right now, and I'll be going home soon. A part of me wants so badly to talk back and say, "If my skin is rashy, then your forehead is wrinkly," but I know that's immature and wouldn't go over well. If I try to talk to them about feelings, they will probably ignore the conversation and continue to do it anyway.

Anyone have tips on how to feel okay in your body when it feels like its rebelling against you?
Sofi
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Re: Discussing eczema with family members

Unread post by Sofi »

Hi Raffles!
I'm so sorry your family is dismissive of your eczema, and that it feels like your body is rebelling against you. I myself have had eczema (really bad flare ups in the winter) and currently have psoriasis, too, so I feel you! It can be really crappy when someone points it out and isn't supportive of how tough it can be at times.
Honestly, your best bet might be to ignore their comments and not even talk about it. I know ideally you'd be able to talk to them about it, and they'd be understanding. But if you've tried that before and it never really helps, I'd rather you protect your mental peace and just try to ignore it - although I know it can be hard, but it's more of a "is this battle worth fighting" situation.
Re: you last question, it might be good to focus on other parts or aspects of your body that you like. It has helped me when something about it feels foreign and 'not right', to remind myself what else about my body I do like, and give extra self love to those parts. I know you mentioned it doesn't affect your body image much, but this is a good exercise to practice regardless, especially in those times when it does make you feel sad or someone else is being dismissive of your experience.
Raffles
not a newbie
Posts: 208
Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2020 10:23 am
Age: 24
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Location: USA

Re: Discussing eczema with family members

Unread post by Raffles »

Me: Are you sick?
My dad: No
Me: Why are you coughing and sneezing?
Dad: Why are you red and bumpy?

And that was our conversation today. I left it alone, but he thought it was funny. Maybe I shouldn't have asked if he was sick, but I did ask out of a place of care because I don't want him to be sick. I thought maybe it was just allergies, but he really had to come at me like that haha
Sofi
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 447
Joined: Fri Sep 04, 2020 12:23 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I make my own nail art!
Primary language: Spanish or English
Pronouns: she/they
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Location: USA

Re: Discussing eczema with family members

Unread post by Sofi »

I'm so sorry he made that joke, I agree it was unnecessary. If he means it just as a joke, then hopefully it wasn't ill-intentioned and just in poor taste, but since impact often matters more than intentions, you have every right to be upset at it. Do you feel like you'd wanna try telling him that, I know you said he'd probably just ignore it, but it might be worth a try?
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