Scarleteen

I lost my virginity a couple of years ago & 4 years later I still can't feel penetration during intercourse. I start feeling around in the inside of my vagina and it just feels completely NUMB. I did some research and I believe I have some type of disorder to where I possibly need surgery. this also affecting my dating life. PLEASE HELP!!

Hi TTALLIE0310,

So, while there aren't a lot of nerve endings in the vaginal canal, especially once you get past the first third, if you're unable to feel anything at all (fingers, toys, even things inserting tampons or menstrual cups), then that's something to speak with a healthcare provider about. Do you know how to access that kind of care? And do you have a similar numbness on your external genitals, like your clitoris and labia?

I do want to say that it's very unlikely that the sex you had four years ago caused whatever is happening now. Unless it caused an injury that would have been noticeable at the time but was left untreated, sex can't change the level of sensation someone feels from inserting objects into the vagina.

I do not know how to access that kind of care. I'm actually very scared to discuss this with my doctor. & I do not feel numbness on my clitoris.

Okay, we can certainly help you brainstorm how to access it. Is there something specific that makes you nervous to bring this up with a doctor?

it's just embarrassing. I just have a million thoughts going through my head like have a doctor had a patient like me before? What if there is no treatment and I have to be like this for the rest of my life? things like that.

Got it. If it helps to know, healthcare providers have seen all kinds of things. And if you go to an OB-GYN or other sexual healthcare provider, odds are good they've helped people with similar concerns in the past (and even if they haven't, a patient with a new issue isn't a reason for a healthcare provider to give bad care or be judgemental). Do you want to talk about how to find some nearby sexual healthcare?

It may also help to know that, if your clitoris still picks up a lot of sensation, then you still have lots of options for genital-based sexual pleasure. After all, most people with vaginas don't find inserting objects to feel like much, especially once it gets past that first third of the vaginal canal. Out of curiosity, when you're trying to masturbate or are with a partner, is your brain really turned on and engaged in what's happening? And were there sexual incidents in the past that were negative or traumatic for you?

Yes I will like to find some nearby sexual Healthcare & sometimes my brain is engaging in what's happening and I have not had a sexual incident happened to me unless I was really young and don't remember it.

Okay! There are some services you can access here: https://stlouiscountymo.gov/st-louis-co ... th-center/. There's also a Planned Parenthood in the area: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/plann ... h-services. Can you make a plan to get in touch with one of those places in the next few days?

Yes I can thank you so much! really appreciate this help so I can finally fix this issue.

I'm nervous, how do I tell them when I'm booking an appointment without sounding weird?

It's okay to be nervous, it can be intimidating! It helps to know they deal with stuff like this constantly, and they won't judge you or think your situation is weird. I promise! Just be as clear about it as you can manage to be, so they have all the information they need. You don't have to give all the details, just tell them what you told us. Take a deep breath and know we're right here with you.