Hi there LovelyEvaline, and welcome to Scarleteen!
I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling to feel much when masturbating. I wish I had an easy answer for you, but unfortunately there are a lot of different aspects to masturbation and self-pleasure that are a little more complicated than just being horny or "hitting the right spot".
Some questions for you: what does masturbation look like for you? Is it something that you've tried to do regularly, or has it just been once or twice? Are you usually alone at home, or are there other people in the house?
It sounds like you're able to feel aroused and want to relieve that buildup, but you aren't able to get the results that you'd like. Is there anything that does feel good that you can do with your body, even if it doesn't lead to orgasm or relieving that tension?
You also mentioned some "paranoia" previously around masturbation. Can you say more on that? How do you think that's affected how you think about your body and masturbation today?
Below are some articles that you might find helpful to read through, just in case:
- Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation
- How to Have Your First Orgasm: A Primer for Cisgender Women
- Yield for Pleasure
- The Sex Goddess Blues: Overcoming Sexual Shame