Time to (Unintentionally) Offend Everyone!

Questions and discussions about your bodies and their parts.
idk anymore
not a newbie
Posts: 97
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2020 7:22 am
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: I have a pretty good sense of humor
Primary language: English
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexual identity: Pan, mostly
Location: Epping, NH

Time to (Unintentionally) Offend Everyone!

Unread post by idk anymore »

So, I'm a guy. I was born a guy, and I have thought about myself as a guy for most of my life. Mostly because my parents tried to beat it out of me from the outset. I don't know a lot about trans people and I'm not sure how any of that works. Would someone be kind enough to explain it to me, so I don't offend more people, accidentally, because I'm stupid? I have a few questions in particular that I would like answered... If your born a certain sex and come out of surgery, physically another, how does that all work? Does it hurt? Do you get artificial boobs? Do you get an artificial penis? Is it true the penis is sometimes detachable and you can buy customizable penis's to attach online? Can you feel from them? Is sex the same? How do you use the bathroom? How do testosterone and estrogen supplements work. Does it change you physically. How does ejaculation work? Can you still orgasm? I would google all of these questions, but many of the sites I would get that information is blocked by my parents so plz help me out!

I used to want to be a girl and I have started feeling the same way again recently... But I feel like it isn't for the 'purest" of reasons.... I kinda just want it because I like the idea of someone being inside of me, since it feels so great with my ass (even tho I can get off because of it) so I guess I kinda just want to be able to get it in the front and orgasm off that feeling... I also liked the idea of how female climaxes are so severe and can last longer... Is that wrong of me?

I used to identify as an it. I guess a lot of people don't like that and it offends some people, especially my parents. I don't feel like I'm multiple people so they/them didn't work for me, and I dont know any others, so I sort of just like it. I feel like gender is meaningless in the real world (sry again everyone) and that I don't care what people call me. I usually just go with he since whenever I say it, people get mad at me and my parents go loony. So again, more questions...

Is it offensive? Can you get a surgery to have no sexual parts? If I do will I lose the ability to orgasm? Anything else anyone would like to add?
I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You're not scared. You're an asshole.

~Morgan Freeman
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9533
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 53
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Time to (Unintentionally) Offend Everyone!

Unread post by Heather »

Hey there.

So, the best place to start for this information would be with some primers we wrote right here on the website. I think the very best way for you to do this given some of the question's you're asking is to walk yourself through our Trans Summer School series, which is effectively a mini-source in basic trans information: Welcome to Trans Summer School!

I do want to just let you know that for future reference, it's not a great move to be merging an ask for basic information about trans people with unsolicited information about your own sexual desires and likes. Intended or not, that sexualizes trans-ness and trans people, something that is a long constant struggle, and something trans people have to deal with a lot. It's especially ugh-ful if and when someone is not only asking you to educate them but is also sexualizing you (again, even if it's unintentional) in the process. So, if you ask anything like this in other areas or here in the future, that's just a little the-more-you-know for you to keep in mind.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
idk anymore
not a newbie
Posts: 97
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2020 7:22 am
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: I have a pretty good sense of humor
Primary language: English
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexual identity: Pan, mostly
Location: Epping, NH

Re: Time to (Unintentionally) Offend Everyone!

Unread post by idk anymore »

Thank you, and I'm sorry, Heather. I know nearly everything in the trans community is a seemingly never ending struggle. I hate to contribute to that.
I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You're not scared. You're an asshole.

~Morgan Freeman
idk anymore
not a newbie
Posts: 97
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2020 7:22 am
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: I have a pretty good sense of humor
Primary language: English
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexual identity: Pan, mostly
Location: Epping, NH

Re: Time to (Unintentionally) Offend Everyone!

Unread post by idk anymore »

Hey, so I'm in the process of reading the entirety of the trans summer school series. It talks about trans mentors. Is there anyone open to being my mentor?
I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You're not scared. You're an asshole.

~Morgan Freeman
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 9784
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 32
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Desert

Re: Time to (Unintentionally) Offend Everyone!

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi idk anymore,

I believe the section you're referring to is talking about how trans folks can look for other trans people to mentor and support them, rather than trans people mentoring cis people. I think the closest us cis folks get to having a trans mentor is if we read, watch, or listen to the work of trans people who have taken it upon themselves to educate others about trans issues.

That being said, if you're interested in the gender exploration component, I highly recommend "The Gender Quest Workbook" as a starting place.
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