I can’t find my clit and I don’t feel any sexual pleasure when I try to masturbate

[Guacamole]

It’s basically like I’ve said. I think i just have a large hood and a small clit, but i can’t find it to touch that when I try to masturbate, and penetration with my fingers hurts so that won’t work. I read some of the articles here and tried again with the methods in them but I can’t seem to find anything on myself based on the diagrams, even with a mirror. I’ve tried more than once and I’ve been aroused when i start but the second I touch myself that feeling seems to go away. What is going on? Oh, I’m an 18 y/o by the way, I think I saw other people posting their ages.

[Mo]

Hi Guacamole, and welcome to Scarleteen.
When you're masturbating, are there any kinds of touch that do feel good, or is it feeling like nothing at all is feeling pleasurable?
In terms of finding your clitoris, you may have tried this when using a mirror but if you haven't, trying to gently pull back your clitoral hood may help you see the clitoris. You may also have more luck seeing and feeling your clitoris when you're aroused, so that could be a good time to try the mirror again.
Some people do find that direct clitoral stimulation is more intense than they enjoy, either some or all of the time, so if you're feeling a strong or oversensitive feeling when touching your clitoris or clitoral hood, backing off a little bit, or experimenting with using lubricant (or more lubricant, if you're already using a little) might help.

[Sofi]

Hi there, it does sound like you have a clitoris on the smaller side, which is normal, but you should still be able to feel it when you're aroused. It's usually a pretty distinct feeling when you come in direct contact with it. It might help to make sure you're feeling for it right between the top of the outer labia, under the hood (the hood is what connects the inner labia), and definitely try it with a mirror again. You can also ask your gynecologist next time you're in for an annual checkup or pap smear, there's nothing wrong with asking a doctor to help you find it!
Here's a super related advice column that might be useful: I can't orgasm or find the right places on my anatomy
Did any of that advice help?

[Guacamole]

I did try using a mirror, but I wasn’t aroused, so I will try again another time. When it comes to masturbating, what i feel is at most a tickling sensation, there’s nothing really pleasurable about it. I also don’t have a gynecologist. The only time i mentioned seeing one my mom said I don’t need to see one yet, so I’ve never been to one.

[Sam W]

Hi Guacamole,

On the topic of arousal, are you usually pretty turned on when you masturbate? Or is your body trying to masturbate while your brain is having trouble staying in the moment?

You're actually at an age where it's recommended you have a gynecologist, even if you don't need a pap test or a pelvic exam yet: https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs ... ogic-visit. So you may want to talk with your mom about that again, or look into getting connected to one on your own. If you want help figuring out how to do either of those things, we're happy to brainstorm with you.

[Guacamole]

Most of the time I start out pretty turned on but it pretty much goes away once I start trying to masturbate. I’ll try and see about going to a gynecologist but i think that would be hard right now anyway, with the whole covid thing.

[Sofi]

Got it. I definitely recommend sort of "getting out of your head" if possible, because once it goes away and you are no longer turned on, it might be more difficult and knowing this usually happens makes it more likely to happen, so it can turn into a cycle. Sort of like a self-fulfilling prophecy by now, even though it started because you did stop being aroused when you tried. Are you using any visual or auditory stimulation, such as porn of any type? This could help you get your mind distracted and relax more.

[Guacamole]

I tried porn once, but it was more distracting than just trying to do it on my own. It somehow seemed cheesy and I ended up laughing at it lol. Idk what else I’d use of if it would be the same problem.

[Alexa]

In my experience, when I have trouble getting out of my head, it's been helpful to have on some background music or something -- something that's minorly distracting, but that I don't have to pay much attention to (like porn). I have ADHD, so having some minor stimulation for my brain helps me enjoy masturbation without my thoughts spiraling or me concentrating so hard that I interrupt my own pleasure. Is this something you'd be interested in trying?

I also second that you are at the right age to establish gynecological care, regardless of whether you're having sex! So we can help you navigate that if that would be helpful.

[Guacamole]

That’s a good idea. Maybe it’s better to just listen rather than watch. I have adhd too, and I didn’t even think about that affecting this lol.

[Mo]

It might be worth a try! Keep in mind, too, that some people just aren't that into porn, or have particular tastes, or enjoy reading sexual stories much more than they enjoy watching porn. So if you're interested in sexual media of some kind, you might find with time and experimentation that you have some specific preferences, or that you prefer not to use it at all.