Hi there, it does sound like you have a clitoris on the smaller side, which is normal, but you should still be able to feel it when you're aroused. It's usually a pretty distinct feeling when you come in direct contact with it. It might help to make sure you're feeling for it right between the top of the outer labia, under the hood (the hood is what connects the inner labia), and definitely try it with a mirror again. You can also ask your gynecologist next time you're in for an annual checkup or pap smear, there's nothing wrong with asking a doctor to help you find it!
Here's a super related advice column that might be useful: I can't orgasm or find the right places on my anatomy
Did any of that advice help?