Hi I'm new here but I have some questions that If I don't get the answer to I WILL GO CRAZY literally.
1)I'm fairly young(almost 15) and I've had a fantasy, or you can say a kink of bdsm for as long as I can remember, as I was watching porn at probably 11. However, I have newly heard that the majority of people who have a bdsm kink have past trauma(I've been sadly assaulted, not raped, when I was 6 years old, and I've recently came to my mother about it however, and after I told my mom I forgot about it after years of thinking about it on the daily, and now I keep thinking that my kink originates from my trauma and to be honest I'm scared as shit). So is it true?
2)I've been recently thinking about my sexual identity, and it's something I struggle with. I like both guys and girls(I'm female) and I literally can't choose between them. However I'm scared to tell people that as my country is close minded. I have told someone I go to school with that I never talked to before about my sexual identity AND I TOLD HER IM A LESBIAN BUT I MEANT TO SAY BISEXUAL and now I feel pressured to be a lesbian(I know its dumb)and this girl was bisexual herself so I felt most comfortable talking to her as she was a stranger and she couldn't judge me. I also told my friend however, I was extremely extremely disappointed in her because I had to specify that I'm not attracted to her and that makes me so sad truly, it even makes me just wanna be alone without any friends. So does anyone have any advice to help with my sexual identity??
3)I have read so much about this however I never get an approximate answer, what age shall someone lose their virginity? Should it be when someone is as young as me, or someone who is mature? But what if someone who is as young as me is mentally mature?
I'm sorry if I sound a bit confusing it's just that IM CONFUSED MYSELF