You know, I'm not a big fan, honestly, of "kink" as a framework, just because I don't think it's a great one. One person's kink is another person's normal, so I just find much of it needlessly vague and confusing for everyone.
But I think you misunderstood Mo, who I don't believe said your kinks -- whatever that means to you -- were not sexual. Rather, what he said was that being sexually excited by something doesn't mean a person wants to DO that thing. What's sexual isn't just about what we put into action: our sexuality is also about things like our fantasies, thoughts and ideas. For more on that, check out: Sexuality: WTF Is It, Anyway?
However I feel about the framework of kink, yes, it's about sexuality (not necessarily sex, but certainly sexuality). Things we're interested in in other areas of our life that might be unusual (though tbh, top/bottom power stuff is one of the most common things on earth, and is part and parcel of a whole lot of people's heterosexuality as well as the entire kyarichy we're all living in, so the idea that's weird or "kinky" has always especially struck me as off) are just....well, things we're interested in that might be, if they even are, unusual.
You can certainly talk to your therapist about this if you want. Personally, I'm not feeling concerned you have an interest in topping/bottoming, and again, I'd hardly say that's unusual. But what I do think might be worth investigating is why you keep seeking out sexual situations/relationships in the first place when you seem pretty clear once you get talking here that they're not actually something you want. That certainly doesn't excuse this person's really shitty behavior, nor does that make how they behaved your responsibility. But I do think it sets up a really messy and confusing dynamic from the front, probably for you most of all, you know?
Also, just in case you don't know, couples on personals platforms are NOTORIOUSLY problematic and pretty frequently awful, particularly to hose of us who are queer. Most of us who use them have long learned to steer freaking clear, even if and when we might want or be open to getting involved with a couple. One of the biggest red flags, too, is someone who posts as an individual, but then tells you they're looking for you to be involved in some way with their partner, too. That's shady af and usually people pulling that game know it and don't care. Moving forward if you do keep using those platforms, my best advice once someone tells you they're part of a couple and gives you even the slightest suggestion -- though in this case sounds like she was very overt about it once she said something -- they are looking for you to be with them *and* their partner is to disconnect and not talk to them anymore. And if and when you get matched with someone who, in their photos or text, shows you they're a couple looking, swipe left.