Welcome to the boards, Snowflake_Gal. It's not a big deal to us where people post a thread, by and large, so if this feels like a good place for it for you, it's fine with us.
There's a lot to talk about here, but I don't want to overload you, so I want to start with one major thing I think I'm seeing here, and an invitation to see it differently.
I see what looks like you having the idea that what sexual liberation (for lack of a better word) must look like are things like having lots of sex, feeling comfortable with pretty much everything, not worrying about anything, knowing what you want and always saying it, etc.
For sure, it can look like that for some people. But in my book, what sexual liberation is in the most general way is basically radical self-acceptance and self-love. So, in your case what that might look like is acknowledging, accepting and honoring the things you feel uncertain or nervous about. Taking your time -- whatever time you need -- to find the people and situations where you feel comfortable and safe to put your desires out there and invite others into them. Learning and knowing that there is no right age to have a certain level of experience, because having a bunch of sex that isn't right for someone isn't good for anyone, and we're all just too different -- as people, and also in terms of what our opportunities are -- for there to be one right way in this regard, just like there isn't in so many other aspects of sex or other parts of life. I think that recognizing you haven't had good, healthy experiences so far and deciding to be sure your next ones ARE wanted, are safe, are healthy, are equitable, are affirming, are pleasurable is VERY sexually liberated, IMHO.
Get what I'm saying here? Can we maybe talk more from that place, instead of a place of shame and a lack of self-love and acceptance?
I also want to toss you a couple pieces I think might be affirming for you, as well, in regard to you talking about concern you won't want to have sex:
• https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... dy_for_sex
• Don't Want To Have Sex?