FWB guidelines?
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roxfoxreal
- not a newbie
- Posts: 46
- Joined: Sun Oct 14, 2018 8:30 pm
- Age: 23
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have a lot of love to give :)
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/her
- Sexual identity: Bisexual
- Location: North America
FWB guidelines?
I am curious to the idea of having a friends with benefits sexual relationship but I’m kind of worried my expectations don’t fit inside that category. When I talked to someone else about it, they had mentioned how they had a fwb but they were monogamous to that one person, a relationship just never came out of it. It was just casual sex. That’s what I want, casual sex with someone I feel comfortable and respected with, but everything I’ve heard about fwb seems to suggest that it’s uncommon for them to remain monogamous as they’ll “play the field because you guys aren’t serious”. I was wondering if you guys could give me any insight on this. Thanks!
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Alice M
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 119
- Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2018 1:42 pm
- Age: 36
- Awesomeness Quotient: my boundaries
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: bi/pan
- Location: Seattle
Re: FWB guidelines?
Hello roxfoxreal! That was a fun name to type. I like it.
One great thing about sexual, romantic, and other types of relationships is that when you're doing it with your own (and their stated) wants, needs, desires, and boundaries in mind - the sky is the limit. I'd hazard a guess that no two relationships are exactly alike (just like individual people), and that goes just the same for a FWB or more committed and less casual long-term romantic relationship (monogamous or non-monogamous).
It's important that we're honest with our partner(s) and communicate what we want and what we are doing. You'll have a lot more success as you practice this. The key here is consent. There is absolutely nothing wrong with maintaining multiple casual sexual relationships, as long as everyone is enthusiastically consenting *and* is being safe (physically and emotionally).
Sometimes it can take awhile to find the right fit. Not everyone is going to fit into this mold for you, of course, but if you establish what you know you want, what your boundaries are and you're clear about all of that, I imagine you'll find what you're looking for here.
Does that make sense? Do you have any further questions or comments about any of this?
Here's some relevant reading on these topics:
A First Polyamory Guide
I Think I'm Poly: How Do I Initiate Open Relationships?
Ethical Horniness, Or How to Find a Partner in an Enthusiastic Consent World
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
One great thing about sexual, romantic, and other types of relationships is that when you're doing it with your own (and their stated) wants, needs, desires, and boundaries in mind - the sky is the limit. I'd hazard a guess that no two relationships are exactly alike (just like individual people), and that goes just the same for a FWB or more committed and less casual long-term romantic relationship (monogamous or non-monogamous).
It's important that we're honest with our partner(s) and communicate what we want and what we are doing. You'll have a lot more success as you practice this. The key here is consent. There is absolutely nothing wrong with maintaining multiple casual sexual relationships, as long as everyone is enthusiastically consenting *and* is being safe (physically and emotionally).
Sometimes it can take awhile to find the right fit. Not everyone is going to fit into this mold for you, of course, but if you establish what you know you want, what your boundaries are and you're clear about all of that, I imagine you'll find what you're looking for here.
Does that make sense? Do you have any further questions or comments about any of this?
Here's some relevant reading on these topics:
A First Polyamory Guide
I Think I'm Poly: How Do I Initiate Open Relationships?
Ethical Horniness, Or How to Find a Partner in an Enthusiastic Consent World
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
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roxfoxreal
- not a newbie
- Posts: 46
- Joined: Sun Oct 14, 2018 8:30 pm
- Age: 23
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have a lot of love to give :)
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/her
- Sexual identity: Bisexual
- Location: North America
Re: FWB guidelines?
Ahaha I’m glad I could brighten your day with my username! As always, you’re completely right! I’m just going to be honest and communicate my wants and needs with any potential partners - if they can’t do that then they’re not the one for me. I’ll be sure to read the articles you linked. Thanks so much!