I'm really sorry to hear this.
It sounds to me like your friends don't know how to be friends. In other words, I get that you have relationships with them, and I get that you want to hang out with them, but I'm not hearing what sounds like friendship. To me, if someone is my friend, they treat me with care, respect and kindness, they are thoughtful and sensitive, they support and accept me, and they put in effort to try and sympathize or empathize with me and to know and understand me as a person. And vice-versa, hopefully obviously.
It also sounds like your friends just.....well, aren't great friends for a queer person to have. Your friend in this exchange isn't even asking you questions to try and find out how you feel, she's accusing you of things and telling you how you feel. That's not how we support a friend.
Like Sam, I understand not wanting to lose people, so how about we talk some more about how to ADD people to your life who DO actually act like friends, and who also can actually be supportive of you as a queer person, whether or not they themselves are queer, too?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead