Respectfully, it's difficult for many -- if not most -- people to handle conversations about things that are very loaded or scary for them. I promise it's not just you!
But if the way you tend to react is on the anxiety/panic axis, specifically, then there are some things that might help you that help a lot of people who experience panic. We keep a page of resources for mental health help here, and there are a couple of apps that focus on some help with anxiety, and/or offer mindfulness training, if you want to take a peek: https://www.scarleteen.com/anxiety_and_ ... _resources
I personally love apps for this kind of purpose, because it can be so easy to have them when we need them.
I do also think -- and forgive me if I sound like a broken record -- that some of your panic might be about moving super fact into working through all of this. Sometimes, when people find us or other services like us, they can feel like they can resolve all their stuff super-fast, and trying to can result in feeling pretty overwhelmed. I don't know if you've ever had any kind of therapy, but there are reasons that therapists will limit appointment times or frequency beyond helping us not go bankrupt.
That's also because we all can only start to process so much at once, and usually need to take some time as we start working through the hard stuff.
So, it might help to slow down with this some. If you're just digging having the support and community, it is totally okay to pop into or make threads about stuff that ISN'T loaded to talk about so you can get the good stuff and do the harder stuff at a more manageable pace.