I am so sorry to hear about your break-up
I am hearing that you have become suicidal since the break-up. Suicidal feelings or impulses are very serious things.
While we are able to talk with you about navigating break-ups, we are not equipped with the proper resources to handle suicidal impulses. So before we can talk with you about the break-up, we need to make sure that you're safe from harm.
Is there someone in-person you feel safe telling that you are feeling suicidal? You can also go to your local ER for immediate help. Another option is to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. In addition, here is a list of Suicide Hotlines in Indiana: http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/indiana ... lines.html
Your safety is an absolute priority so please take the time to talk with someone you trust, go to the ER, and/or call one of these lifelines.
I am thinking of you and sending you love Neatoburrito. I have so much hope for your future.