Hi there, LightUpTheStage- welcome to the boards! I’m sorry your experience with sex-ed has been poor, but I think it’s great that you’re taking charge of your education and trying to be prepared! Before I get to your actual questions, I want to mention some things:
On kinky relationships: Despite that image you mentioned, people can and do have loving and romantic kinky relationships! It is definitely possible to meet someone who is romantically appealing and shares your kinks, especially once you get a bit older and have a bigger dating pool and more freedom of movement.
On that weird feeling of repulsion: I don’t think this is an unusual experience. Just to toss an idea out there- a lot of us grow up in cultures that are uncomfortable with sex and nudity. It’s not difficult to pick up on those ideas, which could contribute to that feeling of repulsion. It is possible that this feeling could reduce if you have more positive experiences with bodies and if you consciously try to appreciate them.
Now, to address your questions:
1. My advice on how to procure condoms depends on the kinds of resources you have. If you can order things and recieve them without your parents’ knowledge, you could get condoms online. If you can go out on your own, you could buy them at a store- one that is farther from your home may keep you from seeing anyone you know. Despite what some people believe, it
is legal for minors (even those under the age of consent) to purchase condoms. However, stores, as private entities, do reserve the right to refuse service for any reason- so they can still refuse to sell condoms to you. I think people are less likely to do that in more progressive areas, so use your judgement! Remember, you are doing the responsible thing, so there is no reason to feel ashamed.
There
are ways for you to get free condoms- if you live in California
this website should help you learn where you can pick them up- or in some cases, how to get them mailed to you.
2. Regarding different kinds of protection (you’re in the right place to learn about that!), I think that there are two types that we need to think about- protection from STDs, and protection from pregnancy.
You can protect yourself from STDs by using internal or external
condoms, and getting the HPV and Hepatitis B vaccines if you haven’t gotten them already. Once you become sexual active, it is important to regularly get tested for STDs
For information on different ways to reduce pregnancy risk and their merits, check out our
Birth Control Bingo series.
You may also want to read
Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That? to learn about the risks various activities pose.
3. For a great breakdown of different types of condoms, check out
Your Map to the Condom Aisle
I hope this helps!