Scarleteen

Hi im 15 and me and my girlfriend have decided to take things further i tried fingering her over her clothes once and she seemed to like it a bit but another time i tried to do it properly and she said she didnt really feel it then after a bit it hurt or felt uncomfortable then we tried another time and i didnt put my fingers in the hole i just rubbed the clitoral hood for a bit and i also tried using my mouth but she said she never feel’s anything and it doesnt work im scared this could mean penetrative sex cant work or maybe its my fault that i dont know jow to or maybe its a problem with her please give me any tips or possible answers to our problem

Hi Maxcantbetraces,

Welcome to the boards! I want to let you know that there are a number of women who experience similar things to your girlfriend. It is neither her fault nor your fault, it might just be how her body works. I would recommend experimenting with other forms of sexual activity so she does not experience any further discomfort. Although, before moving forward, please try to have a conversation about how she's feeling about this on her end. Also, if she masturbates, then maybe she knows what feels good to her and you both can incorporate that into your sexual activities. If both you and your girlfriend fear that she might have a medical issue, then I would consult a professional, but I don't want to jump to conclusions without more context on her end!

She says shes tried doing it on her own and it never works for her im really confused and i dont want to ask her to consult a professional since she might take it the wrong way and get offended

You know, the chance that this is medical is really unlikely when compared to the chance that, for two young people new to each other's bodies and their own bodies, you just have a lot to learn. The latter is far, far more likely and tremendously common.

By any chance, can your girlfriend read this conversation or any links within it, too? I am happy to give you some information and talk you through some of this, and if you both can read what I share, while it still may take the time it tends to take to learn what feels good (for everyone!), I think both of you could learn a lot that's missing pretty quickly with some basic, shared info.