Hi scarleteen. I'm not really sure how to start this so I'm just gonna get to the point: I'm worried about a friend of mine and wondering if she might be unhealthy/creepy.
This friend (I'm gonna call her Kelly for convivence) is 35(ish?) while everyone else in our friend group is 17-19. I know that age gaps alone don't mean shes creepy, but it's always made me really uncomfortable. When I was younger (like 14) and when we first met she used to do things like call me cute and talk about me kinda sexually? like nothing bad just saying that she thought I was a bottom in bed, or calling me some kink terms that I don't really wanna repeat here. She stopped after I asked her to one day but it's still always made me pretty uncomfortable and I've never been as close with her since because of that.
She also checks off some signs of grooming that I found online, like she talks bad about the parents/family of a lot of my friends which also makes me uncomfortable, since she'll do things like call my mom a bitch even though Kelly doesn't know her. She also offered to let one of my old friends stay with her after he ran away from home when he was 17, which he told me made him uncomfortable. I really don't want to think she's a groomer but the fact that I can list these at all makes me kinda uncomfortable.
I've tried to bring this up to the friend group before (with the friend above who ran away) and the rest of the people we talked to said that she didn't make them uncomfortable, which I'm really grateful for, but it's still just nagging at me and I wanted to get an outside perspective. When she found out that people were nervous around her (she didn't know who) she got really guilty and everyone else rushed to publicly defend her, and again I'm really glad they're comfortable around her but I'm also scared to bring anything up in case I'm ostracized. I'm sorry this is so long winded but I just need to know if this is normal? Sorry if I'm overreacting, I know adults and teens can have normal friendships, but I just want advice on whether I'm overreacting or this is unsafe.