Scarleteen

Hi, I posted on here a while ago regarding fantasies about weightgain. I really didn't know what to do about them or how to feel. On one hand I wanted to stay slim and on the other to get chubby, so confusing. I began to eat a bit more every day and now I have gained 10lbs and it is all I can think about! I cannot stop playing with my belly or thinking about gaining more and it is driving me crazy and I'm a little scared actually why I feel like this! I'm not sure how to deal with it

Hi amysands176,

Since you're finding the idea of weight gain--or changes in your weight more generally--something that you're really fixating on, can I ask if you're seeing a therapist, or if you've ever accessed mental healthcare in the past? I ask because that level of fixation--not the fantasies themselves--can often have a deeper cause that might need to be addressed.

I am not actually, I wouldn't say I was obsessing negatively, I don't think I'm going to put on any more weight having thought about it. I'm more scared because I feel these fantasies aren't normal. And no I am not.

Hey amysands176 -- I wouldn't say that an obsession needs to be expressly negative to be worth talking over with a therapist or other kind of mental health professional. Having sexual fantasies is very normal, and often times people use their sexual fantasies to explore things they may or may not want to try in "real life." Sometimes fantasies can be about things considered "taboo;" it's hard to really put a label on what is "normal" and what isn't, because a definition doesn't really exist. I would say that as long as your fantasies and/or their exploration are not causing you physical or emotional harm, it's healthy to have. I noticed you mentioned you're feeling scared and/or concerned, and your thoughts about your weight gain are "driving you crazy." I think this is what Sam was also picking up on. If you're wondering why you feel like this, this might be something that can be useful to talk to a mental health professional about. Not because the fantasy isn't normal, but because they are qualified to help others analyze their behavior for insight and can probably help you figure out what's coming up for you when you think about this fantasy. Does that make sense? Do you have any thoughts on what I said?

Yes that makes sense thanks a lot! And yeah it's not causing me any physical or any harm as such, i think it's just a matter if accepting it

Hey again amysands176 -- I'm wondering, what do you consider harm in this case? I'm curious because, like I said before, you did mention that you were feeling some distress because you were concerned about having these fantasies. To me, harm is a spectrum... while I don't think this is an intense form of harm, I do think that feeling concerned or preoccupied can cause some acute harm to ourselves, even if it's minor in comparison. If this is something that just isn't quite resonating with you, that's ok. What kind of support do you need from us in your acceptance of this fantasy?