Scarleteen

I keep running into an issue with penetrative sex. I’m transmasc, have been on testosterone for 8 years, and am not new to sex. I enjoy vaginal penetrative sex and will happily pour on the lube and take my time getting started. The issue is that no matter how much lube I use or how relaxed I am, any kind of thrusting motion feels like chafing. It’s exclusively the vaginal entrance that feels this way. The only things that don’t hurt to thrust are glass toys. Any advice would be great! I’ll also be speaking with my PCP about it.

Hi hp3r,

I'm glad you're talking with your PCP about this, just so you can find out if there's an underlying issue that can be addressed!

Do you have any guesses about why glass toys might be the exception? Does it seem like the texture or even the way they interact with temperature is at play? And have you noticed if covering a toy with a condom makes any difference in terms of comfort?

Hi Sam!

What I’ve noticed is that anything with even the slightest surface texture (gloves, silicone toy, silicone toy with condom) feels like chafing to some degree. Even glass toys can if the lube starts to dry a little.

It feels similar in a way to having dry hands in the winter, or when the corners of my mouth get too dry, but I’m not sure that area gets dry like that ever.

Lube helps, but there’s no way to get enough to stay where I need it.

Hey there: this isn't at all unusual for people using T. (And yeah, glass toys will tend to be kinder because of less friction.)

What your PCP may -- and I'd say should -- advise is that you also use some vaginal/vulval local-only estrogen. That will usually help with genital dryness that tends to happen with T (or post-menopause) without interfering with what you want to T to do, because the estrogen is not systemic when used like this.

Thanks for your help! I sent my pcp a message and we’re going to talk more in person in a couple weeks.