i've never had a sex drive

Any questions or discussions that you ONLY want to discuss with our staff or volunteers.
(Users: please do not reply to other users here.)
page
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2021 4:17 am
Age: 22
Primary language: English
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: asexual
Location: USA

i've never had a sex drive

Unread post by page »

i'm 19 and i've never had a sex drive.

i confidently identify as asexual, though i know that most asexuals at least have the ability to feel sexually aroused. i have never been "turned on" or felt anything like that in my 19 years of living. every time i've attempted to masturbate, i've felt nothing at all except slightly uncomfortable, both physically and mentally. i don't think that part is normal. i feel like i'm missing out on something human. i've been tempted to purchase a vibrator to see if that will help, but i'm afraid that it will just hurt and be a waste of money.

is this something i should be concerned about? would it be a good idea to try a vibrator?

kind regards
Sofi
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 449
Joined: Fri Sep 04, 2020 12:23 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I make my own nail art!
Primary language: Spanish or English
Pronouns: she/they
Sexual identity: Queer
Location: USA

Re: i've never had a sex drive

Unread post by Sofi »

Hi page, welcome to the boards!
What you are describing is not abnormal, actually, and you're not alone in it. While yes, many people who are asexual do have the ability to feel sexually aroused, others don't! Buying a vibrator might help, but it also might just be frustrating, if it's not actually something you're interested in from a pleasure standpoint. I'm not telling you NOT to buy it, but to buy it only if you're actually into the idea of masturbating with one (rather than buying it because you feel like you NEED to try this last resort). If you feel pressured, you won't really enjoy masturbating, anyway. That being said, have you considered trying a household item as a vibrator before buying one? Here's an article with some ideas if you want to check it out: D.I.Y Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition

Also, here is our article about asexuality, I think it has some pretty helpful info for you:
Just the Basics, Ace: An Asexuality Primer

Keep in mind it takes time for most people to figure all this out, so to answer your question: no, you shouldn't be concerned! You have to listen to your body and mind and do whatever makes you comfortable. And know you're not alone in feeling the way you do, and you're not missing out on something human, because we all experience sexual attraction/arousal/desires differently!
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic