I need a hug

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aven1861
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I need a hug

Unread post by aven1861 »

Hi! So yesterday I found out that my best friend got covid. He is double vaccinated though. I'm really worried about him. I love him so much. He is always there for me and supports me. He never leaves when it gets hard and I never have to hide my true self around him. I can't lose him. I'm so scared that he will die and I will never be the same. He asked me not to tell our classmates that he's sick bc of the shame. So no one knows how worried I am. Another problem is that he is now stuck with his homophobic and transphobic parents. I just want him to be happy and safe and I'm scared.
Heather
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Re: I need a hug

Unread post by Heather »

Oh, Aven, I'm so sorry. As someone who did recently lose my best friend, I can certainly understand being afraid of that. It's a big deal, our best friend. They're everything. I get it.

I'm also sorry for him, stuck in what sounds like a crummy home to be stuck in. How hard for both of you.

The good news is that realistically, losing him to Covid when he's been double-vaxxed is very, very unlikely, especially if he's an otherwise healthy young person. He might feel pretty lousy (alas, the vaccine doesn't tend to keep a lot of folks from still feeling awful if they get it), but he will almost certainly pull through and be okay.

What do you think you can do for yourself and/or for him to help comfort you? Might you be able to make and/or deliver a care package? I know doing stuff like that for friends when they're in a bad way always makes me and them feel a little better. If not that, how about some video calling, maybe you can do something goofy to cheer them up (a puppet show with socks?), or something that comforts them, like reading them a favorite book while they rest? Listening to music together?

What can you do to care for yourself?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
aven1861
not a newbie
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2021 8:48 pm
Age: 15
Awesomeness Quotient: I am a SFX artist
Primary language: English
Preferred pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity and orientation: polysexual masc romantic
Location: Canada

Re: I need a hug

Unread post by aven1861 »

Hi! I'm realy sorry you lost your friend. That must be hard. :( I made him a playlist with both of our favourite songs on it so it feels like we are together. I really want to deliver him a gift basket but he lives way across town so |I haven't been over yet. Hopeful my dad can take me tonight and I can wave through the window. So far he is doing okay but I miss him. His parents are not being great and they keep taking his phone. I have tried to involve myself in school clubs more but most of them make me think of him:) I'm trying to stay calm and look at the low statistics but my GAD won't let the worry go. Do you think I should try and reason with his parents or just leave it and care for him?
Thanks :)
Sofi
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Re: I need a hug

Unread post by Sofi »

I hope that works out with your dad taking you, it would be really nice to be able to drive by and wave to show you're there for him! You could try to talk to his parents about it if you think it'll actually be a productive conversation. From the sounds of it, they aren't the most supportive parents, so I just worry that it will only cause you emotional distress to try to reason with them. Perhaps you could ask them if it's okay for him to check in with you once or twice a day, whether it's on his phone or theirs. That way they don't feel like you are asking them to change their rules, but that you just really care about your friend and want to make sure he is okay.
aven1861
not a newbie
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2021 8:48 pm
Age: 15
Awesomeness Quotient: I am a SFX artist
Primary language: English
Preferred pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity and orientation: polysexual masc romantic
Location: Canada

Re: I need a hug

Unread post by aven1861 »

Hi! when I went his parents answered and wouldn't let me talk to him but I'm going back tonight when there's gone. He's doing better witch is good and should be back to school on Monday :) I don't think it's the best idea to talk to his parents directly but I might try to connect them with another support system so they can learn a bit more about gender. My town has a great support centre with educators. Thanks for being here through this it really helped. I will update you when he's back to school!
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 8847
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 52
Awesomeness Quotient: I know every word of The Lorax by heart.
Primary language: english
Preferred pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity and orientation: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: I need a hug

Unread post by Heather »

I'm so glad to hear that he's doing better!

This is a *fantastic* online resource for parents for gender information if you want a place to start: https://genderspectrum.org/audiences/parents-and-family
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
aven1861
not a newbie
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2021 8:48 pm
Age: 15
Awesomeness Quotient: I am a SFX artist
Primary language: English
Preferred pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity and orientation: polysexual masc romantic
Location: Canada

Re: I need a hug

Unread post by aven1861 »

Thanks, I'll check it out!
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