Hi tinygoblin,
I have also struggled with a change in my libido from a few years ago, it can be really disconcerting and frustrating. I’m glad you have been kind to yourself about this, that’s the biggest thing we can do for ourselves sometimes.
Sometimes our body’s response to stress (and different types of stressors) can change over time, too, and this past year and a half have come with a lot of different stressors! But I hear you, whether or not these changes are “normal”, it’s still frustrating and I want you to be able to enjoy desire and arousal more again.
Here’s an article,
“Libido and Lockdown”, outlines how many things in our daily lives can affect our libido, from how much we exercise, how we eat, how we manage new stress, how we feel about our bodies. It also outlines some steps to take.
I also really like this article,
"10 of the Best Things You Can Do for Your Sexual Self (at Any Age)", which can help put our sexualities into a larger perspective and give a few options on how to move forward if you feel like you are fighting against a barrier.
Another thing that sticks out to me is finding other sources of pleasure in your body outside of sex and arousal. Maybe finding other things to intentionally do with your body (meditate, make or eat a really good meal, learn a new skill) could help you get in touch with different needs in your body that could tie into libido in the big picture. What do you think about this idea?