Is it possible for me to be lesbian and aroace at the same time?

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Is it possible for me to be lesbian and aroace at the same time?

Unread post by mdnghtsechs_ »

Hi there, I'm a teenage girl in questioning.

Around this time last year I've came to the conclusion that I am attracted to girls, hence I would like to identify as a lesbian. I know that I'm aesthetically and maybe sensually attracted to girls. I've never experienced any form of romantic attraction, and the most I do is simply just holding hands and hugging but all those are platonically done with close friends. Also, I think I can identify as asexual too as I have never thought of having/liking/experiencing sex before and even found it gross and unappealing.

Ever since young I've always thought I needed to find a romantic partner when I grow up but I never found myself crushing on anyone, be it girls or boys, until I recently joined high school. I found myself liking someone and feeling something I've never felt for any close friends and I thought it was romantic attraction. Having never experienced what romantic attraction felt like, I didn't think much and thought I had a romantic crush on the girl.

However, recently, I've been thinking about this "crush" of mine. It seems to me that it's more of a platonic crush? I don't know her very well as she is 2 years older than me and admittedly, I find her really attractive. And really really really cute. Like I mean I guess I'm acting like how someone would react to their crush, like doing my best to get to know her better etc etc but it occurred to me that actually I've never wanted to be in a intimate and romantic relationship with her. I guess it's sorta more like I just wanna know her on a personal level kind of crush, if that things exist. Like i just wanna be her friend so bad !!!

(most of the time im quite capable of making friends and i don't feel the need to feel like "oh my gosh i just like her so much i wanna be friends with her" and the first time i thought that was this year with my so called "crush")

Is this considered being aromantic? Up to now even, this girl still makes me giddy even though there's no distinct feeling of romantic attraction. Maybe I wouldn't mind getting into a relationship with her but I rather it be more platonic, someone to spend my life by my side but NOT doing those couple things cause ngl those kinda disgust me.

I'm not sure if it's possible for me to identify as a lesbian and aroace at the same time. I am attracted to girls, just not sexually and/or romantically.

Can someone help me with this, please? I really want to know cause I'm going through really confusing times!
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Re: Is it possible for me to be lesbian and aroace at the same time?

Unread post by Urna »

Hello mdnghtsechs, and welcome to Scarleteen! It is absolutely possible to be lesbian and aro-ace, yes. Like you said, you experience platonic and aesthetic attraction (which means that you're aro-ace) to girls and women (which means that you're lesbian). It's as simple as that. Being lesbian is not necessarily sexual or romantic. Does that help? We can talk more about this, if you want. Here's an article that you might find informative: The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone.
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