Burnout is also so genius, isn't it?
I'm excited about your answer to the first question here (and cool beans on the second, as well -- that definitely will make this easier all around).
So, I have a couple ideas to start with, and this is a bit of a fork. It may be that all of these prongs don't turn out to fit for you, but I think that it's worth at least checking them all out first to see.
For starters, since you're obviously a reader, I think that a read of Angela Chen's
Ace might be a good thing for you to start with. I'm not sure if asexuality is where you're at or not, but whether it is or it isn't, I think that your feelings around and reactions to ace ideas, feelings, and experiences will be informative and helpful. And certainly, if it strongly resonates with you, it may be that some of this is about you yourself being on the ace spectrum in some way.
I also feel like if you can get your hands on some reading about disability and sexuality (and queer sexuality, and I'll get there in a minute) it could really help you out here. I really had me eye on Tobin Siebers essay, "Sexual Culture for Disabled People" from the anthology "Sex and Disability" for you but I can't find it separate from the book anywhere for you, alas. But there's a few quot from it I at least want to pull that I think really speaks to why I think sexuality from a disability justice framework might help you out here:
...co-thinking sex and disability reveals unacknowledged assumptions about the ability to have sex and how the ideology of ability determines the value of some sexual practices and ideas over others.
...people with disabilities are claiming a sexual culture based on different conceptions of the erotic body, new sexual temporalities, and a variety of gender and sexed identities...they represent disability not as a defect that needs to be overcome to have sex but as a complete embodiment that enhances sexual activities and pleasure.
While certain aspects of the body are not open to transformation, sexual desire and erotic sensation are remarkably flexible. For example, people with paralysis, who have lost feeling in traditional erogenous zones, have found ways to eroticize other parts of their body...As feminists have made clear, normative sexuality requires a distinctive mapping of the body into limited erogenous zones.
It might be obvious already where I'm going with this, but in case it's not, I'll make it clear. The idea a lot of us have that sex is about only specific parts of the body and specific activities has always been wrong, and was mostly something that was invented by very limited heterosexual and patriarchal (and ableist!) culture mostly centered around reproduction and partiarchal power. Sure, the genitals have a ton of sensory nerve endings in them, so yeah, we can feel a lot of things there. But the lips and fingertips, for example, have about the same amount, so the same is true of those parts. And bodies are so, so varied, as our experiences of and inside them, so how those parts feel to us -- our whole lives, at different times of our lives, in any given experience -- is nowhere near universal. Disability frameworks and queer frameworks support this diversity waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than your average heteronormative ones (where what sex is is mostly about genitals, centered around intercourse, everything else foreplay, etc.).
I'd love for us to talk a little bit more about that, so I'll just leave that as a starting place to think about for right now, but if you're open for a journal/writing/thinking prompt, I think a good one for you to start with might be this:
• Take a piece of paper and set it up so you have six columns. At the top of those columns, write: taste, sound, sight, smell, touch, movement. Then, under those columns, just start free-associating and writing down anything that fits in each of those columns that you find any kind of pleasure in (if you have any disabilities or limitations in any of those things that make any of them fraught or painful, just leave it: this is about what's positive and useful for you and joyful, not about a homework assignment you have to do). Don't think about what is or isn't sexual or sensual -- it doesn't matter. This is just about what is pleasurable -- what feels good in some way, what brings you joy, what makes you like being in your body and where you feel present and alive in it.
That feel okay to start? LMK, if not, always happy to have another go!