Hi there Anonymous786, sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time with you anxiety and feeling distressed. Its a really rough space to be in.
I can see from your prior threads that anxiety about this topic is something that you have been dealing with for a while; it can take a while to work through an intense fear, even when you have information that the fear itself isn't grounded in reality and understand it, the fear response can still happen, that is a really common thing for people. I'll provide you with some information that you can use to remind yourself that these scenarios that you describe can in no way lead to pregnancy, returning to reputable resources like the linked article are useful forms of addressing fears when they arise. Do you think that bookmarking them to re-read could be a useful grounding technique for you?
Also, has your therapist in the past given you any self-soothing/redirection techniques for when you're in an anxious state like this? Essentially, there are things you can do to calm yourself and distract your brain. In case it is useful, here is a link with some ideas: Self-Care: A La Carte!
. Having a list of books/video games/podcasts or something you like that will distract you are good too.
With anxieties of this nature, seeing a therapist is an important part healing and recovery, would you feel comfortable sharing why you have stopped seeing your therapist? Perhaps we can help you navigate a way to find a way you can still have therapy that overcomes an obstacle you are facing.
Here are some things to remember, bookmark and read to remind yourself of why these scenarios you are worried about cannot lead to pregnancy:
In the scenarios that you describe, it is not possible for you to become pregnant, as human reproduction does not work in that way. One thing that may help you is re-framing your thinking by understanding that a sperm cell isn't like a virus or bacteria, and pregnancy is not like catching an illness - the sperm is not 'alive', nor can you become pregnant by coming into contact with it in the ways you describe.
Instead, we can describe sperm as a very specific kind of cell, that needs to come into contact with another kind of specific cell (ie. ova, egg) in a highly specific way, setting aside IVF, that specific way is through direct vulval or vaginal contact with semen that has just been ejaculated, during a fertile window in the cycle of the person with the ova. Sperm cells are highly fragile, if all these conditions are not met, pregnancy cannot happen.
You can read about this in more detail in these articles:
Let us know how you go trying this way of coping, and if you feel comfortable talking through your circumstances with therapy at the moment.