Sam W wrote:Hi Magdalena,
It sounds like you've been trying a lot of different things, which is a great way of approaching this! To make sure I'm understanding correctly, is it that you're not feeling any sensation at all, or more that you're not feeling anything pleasurable?
Since you mention you might be interested in sex toys but aren't able to buy them, this article might help you out: D.I.Y. Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition. Too, when you try masturbating, are you using any kind of sexual media (like porn, or romance novels) to help you get in the mood?
boosterseat wrote:Hi Magdalena, what you're describing is very common, so there's no need to worry about things like nerve damage (the fact that there's a pulsing sensation in the genital area when you're aroused means sexual pleasure isn't far away at all!). I understand exactly how frustrating it is when touching yourself feels like touching any other body part, especially because erotic media and popular depictions of sex promise fireworks right from the start. But sexual pleasure looks different for everybody, and for some of us, it might take longer to get there. Also, each masturbation session looks different as well for an individual: there's no guarantee that your orgasm will be the same each time, or even that you WILL orgasm! A healthier approach to masturbation and sex in general is enjoying every sensation as it comes, instead of treating every touch as a prequel or a build-up to the climax.
The fact that you're going in with the expectation of frustration may mean that you're putting pressure on yourself to feel good, and that sort of stress will definitely limit pleasure. The best masturbation happens when one is relaxed, both in body and in mind, so I'd suggest taking time out to relax yourself right before you start touching yourself, and ensure that there are no environmental stressors around, like lack of privacy or a lack of time. You could also try investing in sex toys, if that's something you're comfortable with! Let me know if this advice helps, or if you have further questions/comments.
Sam W wrote:I think that's a really useful insight! While lots of people enjoy masturbating, there are plenty of folks who find it's not really for them, or that they only enjoy it under very certain circumstances. So, there's nothing wrong with taking a break from it, or not doing it at all if that's what feels like the least frustrating option. Too, you can also decide to only try it when you notice you're already turned on; even if that ends up not being pleasurable and you stop, it's likely to be less frustrating than trying to get going when you're not turned on at all. Does that make sense?
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