boosterseat wrote:Hi Magdalena, what you're describing is very common, so there's no need to worry about things like nerve damage (the fact that there's a pulsing sensation in the genital area when you're aroused means sexual pleasure isn't far away at all!). I understand exactly how frustrating it is when touching yourself feels like touching any other body part, especially because erotic media and popular depictions of sex promise fireworks right from the start. But sexual pleasure looks different for everybody, and for some of us, it might take longer to get there. Also, each masturbation session looks different as well for an individual: there's no guarantee that your orgasm will be the same each time, or even that you WILL orgasm! A healthier approach to masturbation and sex in general is enjoying every sensation as it comes, instead of treating every touch as a prequel or a build-up to the climax.
The fact that you're going in with the expectation of frustration may mean that you're putting pressure on yourself to feel good, and that sort of stress will definitely limit pleasure. The best masturbation happens when one is relaxed, both in body and in mind, so I'd suggest taking time out to relax yourself right before you start touching yourself, and ensure that there are no environmental stressors around, like lack of privacy or a lack of time. You could also try investing in sex toys, if that's something you're comfortable with! Let me know if this advice helps, or if you have further questions/comments.
Well, I just kind of accepted that I won't be able to feel anything by my hands, since I'm probably just naturally very inept at it or something. So instead I'm holding out to when I finally can buy a vibrator, I'm hoping that a toy specifically designed for that will eventually make me feel something, and if THAT doesn't work...Don't even want to go there. Somehow, I think that me being by my lonesome is the reason why I get very bored and am not able to sustain excitement for very long. When I think masturbation, I just want to jam something down there and be done with it, because just kind of sitting alone, trying to get myself worked up, doesn't really appeal to me. I'm sure it would be different if I was exploring with another person, I think I would be able to feel something, but that's not really relevant.