How to get over accidental anal fear

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emiliar
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How to get over accidental anal fear

Unread postby emiliar » Sat Apr 17, 2021 6:33 am

Hello, first let me thank the staff of this site, I know you help a lot of people get information when our guidance counsellors and web history won’t give us an answer.

My boyfriend (amab) and I (afab) have been having sex for a few months. It’s always penis/vagina (not anal) but in several positions and quite fast and rough. Recently, we had an incident where his penis slipped out for a moment and accidentally went in the wrong hole. It took me a split second to realize a difference, then immediately told him to pull out. I didn’t experience any bleeding, just bad soreness for a few days (do not worry, I am not asking for medical advice). Neither of us have had sexual partners before each other and didn’t even know that was a possibility, maybe it was just a one off but he feels very bad. When we had sex again, every thing was great, expect for the fact that I would flinch every so often when I felt it slip out worrying that it may happen again. He tries to assure me it won’t because he’s super careful but I can’t help this gut reaction. He is very understanding but it still sucks cause sex has been a really good experience for both of us and I don’t want to ruin it simply because I have a weird aversion now. Is there anything I could do to like... block my butt safely? Or do you have any other suggestions?

Thank you, Emilia

Sam W
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Re: How to get over accidental anal fear

Unread postby Sam W » Sat Apr 17, 2021 7:49 am

Hi Emilia,

Thanks so much for those kind words! And ouch, I can see why this experience would leave you a little nervous. There are a few different things you could try that might help keep it from happening again and help you feel more relaxed. One would be to experiment with going slower during sex, so you have more time to correct if you feel his penis slipping out. Too, have the two of you tried positions where you're the one controlling the pace a bit more? That could also help.

emiliar
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2021 6:20 am
My pronouns: she/her
Location: New york

Re: How to get over accidental anal fear

Unread postby emiliar » Sat Apr 17, 2021 8:39 am

Hello Sam, thanks for the quick answer.
Those do seem like good ideas and things we can try. Being in control of the pace is something I have not yet gotten a hang of though LOL. I really do enjoy sex as we usually do it and I am really hoping that with time we can go back to usual. I would just like to confirm that it would be a bad idea to stick anything on/in my rear to keep anything from slipping in, right? It may ease my nerves but I am assuming that that could be dangerous.

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 7248
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
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My pronouns: she/her
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Location: Desert

Re: How to get over accidental anal fear

Unread postby Sam W » Sat Apr 17, 2021 8:43 am

You're welcome!

If you decide you want to put something in place to act as a block, the safe thing to use would be a butt-plug, since they're designed specifically to be safe for anal use. If you end up going that route, I'd test it out ahead of time so you can make sure it's something that's comfortable for you to insert and wear.

emiliar
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2021 6:20 am
My pronouns: she/her
Location: New york

Re: How to get over accidental anal fear

Unread postby emiliar » Sat Apr 17, 2021 8:45 am

Okay, thank you. If the new positions do not work for us or if I do not get over this, I may try that option. I really appreciate you help, and if anyone else has ideas feel free to add them to the thread, I will read them.
Emilia

emiliar
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2021 6:20 am
My pronouns: she/her
Location: New york

Re: How to get over accidental anal fear

Unread postby emiliar » Thu Apr 22, 2021 11:48 am

If anyone read this and had a similar problem I would simply like to say that this has solved itself. After a few more times of trying sex slower I eventually remembered how everything felt and was more aware of my body as a whole. I got over it so to say. Do not freak out it will definitely not ruin anything.

Mo
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Re: How to get over accidental anal fear

Unread postby Mo » Fri Apr 23, 2021 2:20 pm

I'm glad to hear the situation has resolved itself!


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