So I'm a young trans man who's been out for about 7 months at this point. I've also been introspective about my sexuality and am confident about being bisexual, but being mainly into other guys. There's a problem though.
I know that I'm attracted to these guys, but I also find myself wanting to be them?
I have a parasocial crush on Brian David Gilbert (formally from the Polygon youtube channel). He's really funny and I thoroughly enjoy his content.
I'm very certain that I find him attractive and enjoy his personality in the way that I do when I am attracted to someone. But when I imagine myself as an adult (early twenties), it's him! i'm just him!\
Like the idea that when i'm 24 years old i could look similar BDG is just great, and that's what i imagine at this point. ( it will most likely change, and has changed in the past, to another guy i've found on the internet)
And a lot of the boys i find attractive in my real life I would also describe as being what I would want to look like.
It's weird, and I'm wondering if I'm alone in this, or if this is somewhat normal.
In general I also have a strange fear in not wanting to be in a relationship with someone who looks/is like me? like I get pretty freaked out about liking someone whose physically like me. I'm not really sure about this part, it's pretty weird.
All in all, is it normal to both want to look like someone and also be attracted to them? I've heard this a lot in WLW individuals and trans wlw specifically, but i've never heard it about men
it's alright if i don't get any trans specific answers, just some general insights/thoughts about this kind of experience would be nice.
So yeah, Peace out!