Hi Sam, thank you for your response.
Yes it was a rough time and I still feel this way. I lack motivation to carry on a conversation with my friends and family sometimes. Especially when a friend texts me a long message. I just ghost them when they do that because I feel overwhelmed. Same with school... it makes me feel overwhelmed so I stopped attending it ever since the pandemic happened. I still stay in bed a lot. I feel like it sounds like I’m depressed but I don’t feel sad or anything. Just maybe mentally fatigued.
It’s good knowing that the four orgasms didn’t cause all of this because I got mad at myself a lot for doing that. I also feel better knowing that health providers hear questions about sexual function a lot. It’s just that.. will he think I’m crazy for asking about this during the pandemic? Because I feel like he won’t think it’s urgent enough. I would be grateful if you helped me come up with a script!
It will most likely make me feel comfortable during the phone call.
I forgot to mention that I will only feel pleasure when the orgasm is coming up and during the orgasm. Like most of the process of masturbating doesn’t feel like much except for the orgasm part. But yes, my mind thinks of the orgasm a lot and I would be hoping that I get a good one. It’s so distracting. I tried focusing on the pleasure but there’s really no pleasure to focus on since it’s weak.
I get distracted by things in my mind. Like it’s hard to think about sexual stuff because my mind just drifts off and thinks about nothing or random stuff. I think it’s because I’m probably not aroused. Fantasizing is much more easier when I’m aroused but it’s hard to get to that state of mind. Back when I had strong orgasms I was able to get aroused just when orgasming and I wish I could be like that again. I remember one day in September last year, I was taking deep breaths and felt aroused for no reason. Another time I was relaxed and felt aroused so maybe I need to calm myself down. I still had a weak orgasm but there was actually pleasure during the actual masturbation process. (Sorry that this was long)