I have low pain tolerance and huge anxiety. I think my anxiety surrounding pregnancy may stem from when my sister was first pregnant with my niece when I was 10 (my sister is ten years older than me). I remember her talking about having to have blood tests and regular vaccinations, and kid me just noped out of the idea of pregnancy. This was well before I started therapy for doctor related anxieties as a preteen, and I suppose the anxiety just stuck.
I can’t get an abortion if I were to get pregnant. While I am prochoice, I live in a state that requires minors to have parental consent for an abortion (and three days worth of therapy trying to talk you out of it). My family would never allow it, they are of the opinion that abortion is in every case the murder of a child. If I were to get one, it would have to be through my sister as she is prochoice, and in secret. I’m going to college now, I wouldn’t have the funds nor the emotional energy to be pregnant, give birth, and as I wouldn’t be able to keep it, give a baby up for the absolute nightmare I have heard the foster system to be.
I’ve been considering switching to an IUD for a while now. I’ve been hesitant as I’ve heard it’s very uncomfortable, and to be frank, I’m a huge baby. But it’s an option for me, my family doesn’t have a problem with me being on birth control.
I have a tendency to hyper fixate on small details, even things that would make me anxious. I feel like I just made a huge mistake here, and am still thinking about taking my emergency pill, just in case. I can always get more.