struggling with masturbation

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goldenwt
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struggling with masturbation

Unread postby goldenwt » Wed Dec 30, 2020 2:03 pm

Hi! I know you guys receive a lot of questions and topics like this, and I read a few posts before actually posting this one, but I feel like I need to have this conversation because I have so many doubts.
I've tried masturbating several times before, I've been trying for more than a year but it never works... I don't know if there's something wrong with me or with the ways I've tried doing it or how long it takes to start feeling things (because the last time, I was massaging my clit for almost thirty minutes and got nothing...)
I'm not ashamed of doing it, in fact, I'm always looking forward to feel the pleasure everyone talks about, but when I do, that bit of a feeling goes away really fast and I start to get dry and bored so I never got an orgasm.
Can anyone help me? I'm 18 and I think at this point I just can't feel that much of a pleasure.

Sam W
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Re: struggling with masturbation

Unread postby Sam W » Thu Dec 31, 2020 8:59 am

Hi goldenwt,

To make sure I'm understanding right, is it that you feel some pleasure at the beginning and then it goes away? And when you masturbate, are you mentally aroused as well as physically? Or is your body turned on while your brain isn't super-engaged in what's going on?

It may also help to, if you haven't already done so, try different ways of masturbating. You can read about some common ways people masturbate here: Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation.

goldenwt
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2020 1:42 pm
My pronouns: she/her
Location: Brasil

Re: struggling with masturbation

Unread postby goldenwt » Thu Dec 31, 2020 12:54 pm

Yes! It takes a while for me to start feeling pleasure when I'm masturbating, but when I do, it goes away really fast. I get turned on by the idea and my mind is always just trying to relax and enjoy, but then that feeling of excitement just vanishes and I start to feel boredom. This is probably not supposed to happen, right?

Also, the article was so helpful! There's some things I haven't tried and I'm feeling more confident about it :)

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 7082
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: struggling with masturbation

Unread postby Sam W » Fri Jan 01, 2021 8:21 am

I'm so glad the article was helpful!

The good news is there's not a certain way masturbation is "supposed" to go. In fact, even for one person, masturbation can go differently from day to day. So what you're experiencing isn't a sign you're masturbating wrong. If you're noticing that you're starting to get bored during masturbation, that might mean it's time to introduce some newness into the equation; that could mean trying new ways of stimulating yourself, or even just playing around with different fantasies.


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