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Hey so this board is a little confusing to me, I assume your FAQ on your main website is the majority of your traffic? I found my way on here doing a search about pre-ejaculation/ pre-emissions and found an otherwise thorough site fairly lacking on the concepts of erection without direct sexual origins.
I'll format this so, pre-amble
- my specific context, then knowledge & research
and finally an abbreviated broader question
which I recommend you may quote, adjust and use for your articles, advice or FAQ.Pre-amble
Me, M23, first time girlfriend, only woman I've ever dated, virgin and saving until marriage. As soon as I connect in any way emotionally (starting with when I first asked her to be my girlfriend a couple months and a dozen dates), I get erect and generally we stay in that emotional state for the rest of the date/ until we part, so I'm continuously finding myself erect. Lets just say that my jocks seem to need changing every time I talk to my girlfriend smoochy-woochy. Now I very well know where the border of emotional connection - physical attraction - lust is for me personally, and I can say for sure that all these erections are almost entirely emotional and near zero direct physical/sexual desire in that moment.Research - and gaps in knowledge
Now I had read about people that have this problem a little on reddit a few years ago, but I didn't quite realise quite how potent and long lasting these erections were. I realise that for the men that this affects, it is quite a concern indeed and found myself looking up whether women tend to notice erections and information regarding pre-ejaculation. Now I found the former easy to read up on personal accounts and the latter almost non-existant. Everything pre-emission related I could find concerned directly with either sexual activity/foreplay, or pregnancy/STD scares.
From my limited sexual education, I understand that men pre-emittiting (a better term since for most men–boys it tends to leak rather than eject) is quite common, especially with wet dreams and pre-sexuality sexual activity, such as boys going through puberty (possibly without erection?).
Now the most useful article I could find was on askmen,
The Truth About Unexpected Emotional Erectionshttps://au.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/unexpected-erections.html
Which made me feel a little more normal, but still without my background of hearing experiences from reddit – I would feel very much like it wasn't normal, or that I had a terribly misplaced sexuality. But the emphasis on the article is significant life events, curiously for more established relationships (baby, marriage) than our budding fledgling relationship.
Contemporaneously, I was in conversation with an anon pal on a chatroom and interestingly he, M18 (with similar religious values) experiences the exact same tendencies with his girlfriend. I also did some polling on mastodon, and while a small sample size (and forgetting to ask the poller to verify if he had a penis physically capable of erecting), with 6 voters, I got 1 'yes often' response to "Anyone had an emotional erection?", and 2 'Yes's, add in my 'yes often' and the potential 3 nos being women – its seems actually relatively common!
Sorry the preamble was just an excuse for me to be verbose. -- I can't believe how under talked about this is, given that it is a potential source of embarrassment in all stages of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship!Question
Is it normal I get an erection (and sometimes pre-ejaculate) when engaging emotionally with my girl, like when I asked her to be my girlfriend, held hands for the first time and just telling her she's amazing? Is she likely to notice and think I have more devious intents?