I have only approved these responses so that I could reply to them. I would not have moved them out of moderation otherwise.
Having spent a lot of time working with and for you over the last year, I am all too aware that you are deeply distressed by your sexual identity and other related issues. I’m really sorry for that: I hate to see anyone suffering the way that you have been, as is perhaps obvious by how hard I’ve worked to try and help you.
But over that last year, you’ve also sometimes treated me, my time and my freely given labor to you disrespectfully and callously, and this last response here is the straw that’s broke the camel’s back for me. This conversation yesterday that you’re all fuck-it-whatever about involved four hours of my emotional labor and investment. It also, as these conversations frequently have, involved me, as a queer person, having to listen to anti-queer statements and sentiment, which I know you know from experience is painful.
I recognize that responses like these are something that comes from your distress, but if you’re so distressed that you can’t treat me or others here with really basic courtesy and respect, then it’s not okay to post here. Anyone posting here needs to be able to still treat everyone with care and consideration, even if they’re having a hard time. This just isn’t okay.
This circling round and round we’ve done way more than once has taken up a lot of my time and energy, and setting aside the way you’ve also sometimes mistreated me with it, it seems very clear it’s not something that is helping you, or not help you want or are able to receive, since every time I or others do a lot of work and we make some progress, you frequently finish it with this kind of response if I walk away for more than a few minutes and don’t keep responding to you quickly.
I am going to suggest again that you try and work with a private counselor or therapist, both when it comes to the identity struggles you’ve been having, but also the pattern of sabotaging relationships or interactions even once people are clearly invested in you. I just don’t think we can help you here, in this environment, and it also just feels like you often can’t use this space within the bounds of our guidelines or even just common courtesy, and that just won’t do.
For the time being, if you want to keep posting here, we're going to set a limit on posts from you in a day and see if that helps: a maximum of three per day. You also will need to be more respectful of those of us giving you our time and energy, just like we ask of everyone else here. I’m going to personally take a break from engaging with you for a while in the interest of my own self-care, which I'm just letting you know so you don't wonder why you aren’t hearing from me. I continue to sincerely hope that you can find some relief and start to turn things around for yourself. I very much wish you well.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead