Hello! My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half and the entire time he has had strict parents and also anxiety. I also have anxiety and my parents used to be very strict and of course I didn't really mind because it's not like he can control them lol. For the most part it was just needing to know every single detail of where we were going/doing/etc etc. Until recently that wasn't an issue and it was easy to give that information so we could hang out about weekly.
Recently he got his drivers license which I figured would mean we could hang out more than just once a week, and he figured the same especially because it is summer and we don't have much else to do. However it's not turning out that way.
Because of his anxiety he is really scared to ask his parents for anything at all, and that includes hanging out with me. It doesn't help that there is a pandemic going on, and even though we have both been abiding by quarantine (as much as we can, at least) and cleaning our houses and wearing masks, he and his parents are incredibly nervous to have us hang out.
His parents ask so many questions at once it gets overwhelming and he's ended up just not coming over or inviting me over most of the time. If we're lucky we'll hang out once a week, but because neither of us have anything else to do we both want to be together more often. Me suggesting hanging out more often or trying to come up with ways to accomplish this usually end in him getting anxious and me getting upset because I get frustrated. I know it's not his fault but I can't help but get frustrated when (and I know this isn't true, it's just me getting irrationally upset) it feels like he doesn't want to try!
Even worse, I go to a technical school during the school year normally. Our main high school is going virtual for the year (of course) but for some ungodly reason the tech center isn't! And I can't just not go because that's a solid portion of my high school credits! My boyfriend said if I go to in person classes his mom won't let us hang out for the entire school year. This absolutely broke me so here I am.
The first few months of quarantine I didn't see him at all and it was hell. He's really bad at communicating via text because he forgets to check his phone, doesn't want to play online games (we have different tastes in games), his wifi makes it hard to watch shows and movies together, and when he's anxious he wants to be alone, so generally not being able to see him for months at a time strained our relationship an insane amount and the thought of going through that again makes me feel sick.
I don't know what to do!! I asked my tech teacher about going virtual (not entirely bc of my boyfriend, also just because i dont feel fully safe in school right now either lol) but all of this just. sucks so hard. I don't know what to do because I don't want to be upset at him for having anxiety and being afraid to ask to hang out but... a selfish part of me just wants him to 'get over it' so to speak (i know you cant just get over anxiety i have my fair share of mental issues too im sorry i couldnt think of another way to phrase it) because he's emphasized that he also wants to hang out more often but he just.. can't. His anxiety has gotten WAY worse since the pandemic started (obviously) and i'm so worried about him but also it makes me really anxious when he goes silent for so long or i cant see him for a while.
Any advice would be really appreciated thank you ;-;