I figured it was probably telehealth, given the timing.
I do think that if you can get in to see someone sometimes soon safely, it'd be beneficial for you to know if you have a structural genital difference or not, just so you know. In the event you do, please know that doesn't mean anything is wrong with you: there is so much more genital diversity than people think. But it also could be that what you're expecting doesn't match your own physical reality, you know?
One thing I'm hearing in this is that you already know for yourself that pleasure for you has a lot to do with touching body parts besides your genitals, so, whether you're being sexual alone or with a partner, I think trying to put much more focus on that might be an important route for you. You know, some people experience orgasm without any kind of genital stimulation at all: since you seem to like other kinds of stimulus better, from the sounds of things, that might be more of the route to orgasm for you. Either way, it sounds like it's certainly about pleasure for you, and pleasure is how we get to orgasm and also can be why we care less about it in the first place: if we experience pleasure, whether we orgasm or not isn't as relevant, get what I mean?
It is normal for people to feel intimidated by the kind of physical feelings and response you're talking about, especially with someone else when they don't know where it can lead. I think the important thing to know is that, ultimately, it's either just going to keep feeling how it does, feel more intense, or drop off. You might or might not orgasm. But that's about it: like, nothing bad is going to happen to you or your body, you just may have a range of feelings and experiences. But for sure, if it stops feeling good, there's no reason to keep going. Again, all of this is expressly about trying to find what feels good for you so you can feel good.
Is any of that helpful?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead