Hey A.Feind1983,
The question of what your sexual orientation is is entirely up to you. It sounds like attraction to women may certainly factor into it, but you get to decide how that defines your identity. Want to take a look at our article,
Q is for Questioning? I think it might be really helpful while you're working through this process. Let us know what you think!
Re: masturbation, I have another recommendation --
Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation. It's a great intro to exploring your own body & pleasure.
I want to take a moment to address this:
I am almost afraid of looking for actual porn on actual websites, because I know that it's wrong in general, and I would feel horrible if I did, due to the content, and the fact I've never seen/done certain things
Porn isn't inherently wrong! In fact, when the people who make it and star in it are empowered and happy with their work environment, it can be great -- both for the performers and for their customers. The porn industry itself, unfortunately, is rife with people who want to capitalize on the vulnerability of others -- but not all porn is bad, and wanting to watch it isn't necessarily bad. If you want to talk about this further, we're definitely here! I just wanted to make sure we addressed this in case it's a place of shame and/or stigma for you. Gonna end here with, you guessed it!, an article:
Looking, Lusting, and Learning: A Straightforward Look at Pornography
Do some exploring on the site and let us know what you think <3
Alexa K.
Scarleteen Team