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i am afraid he wants to move forward too fast

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2020 3:13 pm
by wildmarshmallow
So basically! i started dating this guy i’ve had a crush on for a while! it’s very great and he’s very sweet and caring :) it’s going so well except for one thing! sometimes he will say something slightly sexual and it makes me a tad uncomfy! it’s not like i haven’t thought of it before or i don’t want to, but a, we’ve been dating a whole of 5 days, and b, i don’t really have any experience in this topic like at all, while i know that he does! I have a lot of anxiety about just kissing him, let alone something more. what can i say to him to tell him to maybe slow down just a little bit? thanks in advance :)

Re: i am afraid he wants to move forward too fast

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2020 7:33 pm
by al
Hi there wildmarshmallow, and welcome to Scarleteen!

Congrats on the new date!
I'm sorry to hear that the things he's saying make you feel uncomfy. I think it's totally understandable that you're not quite ready to be sexual with him after just 5 days (or any amount of days - your own readiness and comfort is something that you deserve to go through your own pace). I'm glad that you're able to recognize that in yourself, and that you're thinking about how to communicate about it.

I want to turn your question back to you a bit - how have you responded when he's said these things to you? Has he noticed or acknowledged any discomfort or not-so-thrilled feelings from your side?

Also, if you haven't read it yet, you might find both Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist and Whoa There! How to Slow Down When You're Moving Too Fast helpful in thinking through how you're feeling and how you might respond. <3