First time.

[Nwtsyeezy]

So I had sex for the first time 4 days ago and he didn’t wear a condom and he told me he didn’t ejaculate in me only pre cum. He didn’t go fully in me. I’m really scared because I cannot risk any baby right now and I don’t know who to talk to. I did the last day of my period and I bled on the sheet when he inserted in me. I noticed very mild bleeding for the next 2 days and it didn’t seem like period blood. I’m scared because I do not know if it is implantion bleeding or the hymen breaking bleeding.

[Sam W]

Hi Nwtsyeezy,

So, we can't say for certain what the bleeding was. It could have been your period going a little long or, if you were tense during sex or it was rough, you could have had a small cut or tear (the hymen is actually very different from what many people assume: My Corona: The Anatomy Formerly Known as the Hymen & the Myths That Surround It). As far as implantation bleeding, implantation usually takes five days to two weeks to occur, it would not be happening the day after you had sex.

Can I ask why, if pregnancy is something you cannot risk right now, you two opted to go without a condom? Pulling out does offer a decent amount of protection if done correctly, but not nearly as much as a condom or something like the pill. Too, are you and he both up to date on your STI tests?

[Nwtsyeezy]

We did do a condom but it wasn’t working out. It was definitely rough and I was in pain afterwards. But honestly I can’t risk pregnancy. It was a stupid decision but we told each other next time we will use it. He said he did not cum in me and is fully confident he didn’t. He told me he can’t control pre ejaculatory fluid but I’m pretty sure he did that inside of me. Are there any early symptoms that can tell if one is pregant? It has been 5 days now since it’s happened.

[Heather]

You could go and get emergency contraception today and it may still work for you. You'll be at the end of the time period when it can, so it'll be more like 75% effective rather than the 95% it can be when taken earlier. But it sounds like you really don't want to be pregnant, so that 75% can make a big difference, including for your peace of mind. Do you know where and how to get it?

We can't engage with pregnancy scares beyond this, but know that pregnancy doesn't happen so fast (which is why EC can still work), so there won't be any way of knowing if you're going to become pregnant, because even if you do, you wouldn't be pregnant yet.

You'll also want to look into STI testing in the next month or so, so if you need help finding that, we can help, too.

Did you both need some information on how to use condoms properly, or help troubleshooting whatever you were having trouble with? Also, did this person ask you if he could take his condom off? If so, was it something you said was okay? Something you felt able to say no to if it wasn't okay with you (it doesn't sound like it is, that's why I ask)?

[Nwtsyeezy]

I didn’t really mind it because he told me he would only go in half way. What is the name of this emergency contraception pill? I will try to look into sti testing but it was also his first time just as mine.

[Heather]

His first time with any kind of sex, or just with intercourse?

Just so you know for the future, going in "halfway" doesn't change any of the risks intercourse poses. You still will have the same level of STI and pregnancy risks. What reduces those risks with intercourse is condom use and, if wanted and within reach, an additional method of birth control.

EC pills have several brand names. What you do to get it is go to your closest pharmacy or clinic (a hospital ER is another option) and tell them you want emergency contraception. Some pharmacies keep it behind the pharmacy counter, others will have it on shelves (but usually in those lock boxes, so you have to ask someone for it no matter what).

[Nwtsyeezy]

I just picked up a plan b pill from the pharmacy. I googled it and it said plan b can effective up until 5 days. Is this good enough?

[Heather]

It's the only thing you can do at this point, and like I said, even at the end of that time window where you are, it's still about 75% effective. Using nothing would be 0% protection. So, obviously there's a big difference. Glad you were able to get that for yourself. <3

[Nwtsyeezy]

Thanks so much for being able to reply to me fast really helps a lot!

[Heather]

Happy to be of help.

Did you want to talk about condom use or how to access other methods of birth control for any next times? It's also okay to come back another time for that if you feel like you already have enough on your plate today.

[Nwtsyeezy]

I know about condom use I will make sure next time It’s to be used for sure. I wanted to mentioned one thing. So it’s been 6-5 days since it happened. We did it two days in a row. But the 5th day is when we really went in me. The first day I just used the same towel to clean myself up as he did. Is there still any risk or change?

[Sam W]

Hi Nwtsyeezy,

Nope, that doesn't change the risk; sperm can't pass from one person to another via something like a towel and still be viable, so that just leaves you with the risk of pregnancy we already covered.

[Nwtsyeezy]

Okay thanks a lot for repsonding to me in a time like this. Glad you guys were available with quick responses

[Sam W]

You're welcome! If you have other questions or need support later on, you're welcome to ask them.

[Nwtsyeezy]

I’m sorry but I just want to clarify your last comment^. Did you mean that using a towel that has sperm on it and cleaning my vagina with it after can’t transfer and cause pregnancy correct? He kind of went inside of my the first day and the next day he went inside and I took the pill yesterday. Is there still chance of prevention of pregnancy? I’m sorry I am annoying you guys.

[Mo]

Did you mean that using a towel that has sperm on it and cleaning my vagina with it after can’t transfer and cause pregnancy correct?

That's correct. We have a helpful guide to what can and can't cause pregnancy here: Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That? that you may want to check for future reference.

[Nwtsyeezy]

Okay thank you a lot for the help. It’s really appreciated. Thank you.

[Mo]

You're welcome!