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- not a newbie
- Posts: 392
- Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2019 9:15 am
- Preferred pronouns: She/her
- Sexual identity and orientation: who knows
- Location: n/a
So, if me and someone are together and they get horny and I don’t want to have sex what do I do? Same with texting, if she gets horny and I don’t want to offer anything what do I do?
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 259
- Joined: Mon Jun 24, 2019 10:16 pm
- Awesomeness Quotient: I love to go rock climbing outside!
- Primary language: English
- Preferred pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity and orientation: Queer
- Location: Los Angeles, USA
This one is pretty easy - you don't do anything! You just say "Thanks, but I'm not interested in doing [X] right now."
It's up to you whether you feel like explaining. You can give a reason, but you don't have to. You may have heard the phrase "'No' is a complete sentence." That means you can just say no without further explanation.
A good partner will accept your 'no' respectfully. You communicating what you're comfortable with is a gift they should be happy to receive! Some people might not agree to a 'no' so easily, and try to get you to say yes. Learning to stand up for yourself is an important part of any relationship, whether or not sex is involved. We've got lots of info on that here: Be Your Own Superhero: Learning How and When to Stand Up for Ourselves