hey andrej,
I think this sentence of yours is pretty cool:
whenever I had sex, I had because I wanted to and it was always amazing
I think a lot of people have a bunch of mediocre sex - or mediocre relationships - for the sake of having sex and relationships. Hell, a plenty of folks have bad sex rather than go without sex for whatever reason. If all the sex you're having is pretty great then I'd say that's a kind of winning, and you can clearly appreciate all the things there are to like about yourself - which is great.
I also don't think that you're alone in wanting to have sex more frequently - for those of us single in places under lockdown the prospect of sex in-person with other people can seem really far away indeed! Of course if something is awesome and fun, then you're going to want it in your life. Unfortunately, whilst there are things that we can do to increase the chances of meeting someone we're into - living a full life (which it sounds like you do), meeting lots of new people generally, apps and internet dating - there is a whole lot of luck and patience involved in meeting someone we click with. Like you, I've spent a lot of time single, not because I'm not dateable (I totally am) but because I would rather have no relationship than a relationship I'm not really into, and acknowledging the role of chance and timing helps if I'm having self-doubt. How about you?
Of course, being surrounded by couples when you're single can make it seem like you're missing out and it sounds like you're putting a lot of focus on this right now, which can be stressful. Maybe it's worth trying to make some single friends too, to give you a different perspective? Being single can be a lot of fun in other ways, have you thought about what you DO like about it?