A few months ago I was dating a guy. We were fooling around, but everything was over the clothes. He was using his fingers over my underwear, all of this I consented to. But then, without asking me, he moved his fingers underneath my underwear and put one into my vagina. I didn't realize until a couple months later, a few weeks after we had broken up, that what he did wasn't okay. I think because when it was happening, I was distracted with how painful it was (I think it had to do with vaginal dryness caused by some medicines I take, but that's beside the point). He removed his finger when I told him it hurt and we stopped.
I don't think "rape" is the right word for what happened to me, but I'm starting to realize that it was traumatic. I really need to put a word to it. I have no way of knowing what his thought process was, but I think that he thought it was okay.
What do I call what happened? Assault? Abuse? Any advice or suggestions for what to call this would really help me work through this trauma. Thanks <3