Hi there sky, jumping in chat tomorrow sounds like a good idea too, I will expand a bit on what Carly was saying, as you asked about it. As I'm not Carly, this is how I'm interpreting her post, which I agree is sound.
Why say this? Connecting it directly to "because [you] broke down" would be a bit of an oversimplification, the very understandable feelings that arose for you as you processed this (some of which sounded very intense and distressing for you) are something to reflect on and think about how these effect your personal well-being and safety, in general, and also in the light of the fact that you are working on building your self-compassion, self-esteem and understanding of yourself. This is something I can relate to myself, so I hope you find this useful, coming from my own lived experience, acknowledging that whilst we have overlapping experiences, our narratives are both our own and individual too.
As Carly mentioned, when we are feeling down about ourselves (whether this is a short term, or a longer term way of feeling), we can have a real need to seek external validation from others to try and prove that we are "wanted" and that we're "okay". The issue here though is that when we have feelings that we are not those things, perhaps unworthy of being wanted, is that those feelings are coming from within
our feelings towards ourselves, and until we can have the time and space to understand this, and work with a therapist to build our self-esteem and compassion for ourselves, then we can be stuck in a cycle of continuing to feel really awful about ourselves, and seeking short term respite in other people that doesn't last.
Hooking up with other people and seeking validation in this way has two effects: seeking the validation I mentioned above, and also as a short term distraction and relief from the uncomfortable feelings as when we're focusing on the other person, what they're thinking and feeling, and that they might like us, we're not thinking about the self-feelings that we find tricky or uncomfortable. It can be a bit like drinking, in that way. The thing is though, that this doesn't really address the issue (as mentioned before), and also the emotional intimacy and closeness of a straightforward hookup is not high; it is temporary and more about the physical than emotional closeness, or forming a partnership or kind of relationship that includes ongoing closeness or support. There is no inherent issue with this on its own, it's more about understanding that is the context (and not expecting more from it), and considering whether that is the kind of activity that is going to be healthy and useful for you, right now, in the place that you are in.
Given that the aftermath of this triggered some big feelings around your family's values and also your relationship with your sexuality, rather than being an affirming experience for you, I would agree that taking a break from trying to hook up with people at the moment would be a good step, so you can focus on yourself, having a more loving relationship with yourself, and building your sense of self-worth within yourself, which is something that seeing a therapist can help you with.
It is sometimes going to be challenging, as you've experienced, but as you work though those things, and grow in your ability to sit through emotional discomfort, the change it will make for your life will be worth it. And you
are so worthy of having that sense of self worth, Sky. It is not something you have to do anything "right" to be worthy of, but it can take time to accept and own that for yourself.
Whilst you're working with your therapist on these things, there are ways you can also look after yourself when you need to self-soothe and decompress. This is where having some solid emotional support from friendships can be really useful. It can also be good to have a list of things you enjoy, whether that's walking in a park, or having a hot bath, that you can do, and also things that really engage your thoughts to give you a break from your internal thoughts, whether that's movies, a Netflix series, books, video games. Having a list of comforting faves can be really useful. I'm going to put a couple of articles about his here, for you to take a look at, and have a try to see what you like.
I hope my reply has been useful to you, feel free to ask follow up questions here, or in the chat tomorrow).