can I fix my low libido or is it just not possible?

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can I fix my low libido or is it just not possible?

Unread post by strawberrysyrup »

hi scarleteen!!

you guys have given me some really great advice in the past so im back here again, for hopefully more help :)

I am 17 years old, afab, and my partner wants to have sex with me. The only problem is that in the past few months, since we've begun talking about the topic of sex my desire to have sex at all has just completely tanked. I haven't ever masturbated, even though I've tried a lot, I just can't ever "get it up" so to speak. Or keep up the mood when I do try. [I used to try and masturbate before she came into my life, so it's not a recent issue either]

I know my partner has a lot higher libido than I do because sometimes we'll sext, I guess. Just us talking about fantasies that we have of each other [no pictures of anything revealing yet, I don't think either of us could handle that yet] and I know she gets off to that because she'll tell me whenever she's "finished." Even though, during these conversations I've never felt the urge to try and get off like she does.

The issue is I have had sexual desires before. I accidentally ended up interacting rather regularly with explicit sexual content when I was fairly young, 12ish, by no fault of anyone's except my own because I didn't realize that reading smut on fanfiction sites would be traumatizing later on. But when I was reading those, I did get aroused, even if I didn't realize it back then.

I also have what would essentially be PCOS but because I'm a minor my doctors won't or can't officially diagnose me. I know that hormonal imbalances like what I have often cause low libido in other women, but I don't think it's ever affected me until recently. Mentally, I want to have sex with my girlfriend, but I just physically can't bring myself to find the appeal in it. I haven't told her yet because I'm scared to find out how she'll react, or if she'll take it personally.

Would either of these factors be more prevalent in causing my inability to get aroused, and is there any way I can fix it?
Sam W
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Re: can I fix my low libido or is it just not possible?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi strawberrysyrup,

It's not that unusual for our libido to have periods where it's higher and lower, in part because so many things can influence it. It may be that the hormonal things you're seeing the doctor for are playing a role, or that could be one factor of several. Have there been any big changes in your life recently, or things that have been causing you a lot of stress?

Do you think it would make you feel less stressed by this in general if you were able to talk with your girlfriend about it some?
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