Rushing masturbation

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Arasyil
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Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2021 9:24 pm
Age: 16
Preferred pronouns: She her
Location: USA

Rushing masturbation

Unread post by Arasyil »

So currently the only place where I really have privacy is in the shower, and I can't exactly spend a long time in there especially when I have to spend time using all the different products and everything.

So like I find that most of the time I end up rushing masturbation just to orgasm and be done, and most of the time I'm able to get one but I kinda find that it's less pleasurable overall to rush it, like I'm just doing it to deal w the feelings and that's it.

So I'm wondering if it's possible that this is bad for me in some way? Like will it how it feels long term or make me unable to masturbate for longer periods of time which is more enjoyable? Or having sex for real?

Because I guess it's more of a problem for guys if it's a problem at all? But it kinda makes me feel bad about myself that I'm not able to take my time and enjoy it cause every time i do it is so hurried.

Tyy
Carly
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 81
Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2020 9:13 pm
Age: 29
Primary language: English
Preferred pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity and orientation: Bisexual
Location: American Midwest

Re: Rushing masturbation

Unread post by Carly »

Hey Arasyil -- I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been able to enjoy masturbating as much. Having to make time to masturbate and wash normally all in the same short shower sounds like a difficult situation. Why does it make you feel bad about yourself? To me, it sounds like you're doing the best you can given the circumstances and you're missing the connection you have with yourself when you masturbate differently. Do you share a room with someone? A lot of people will also the use privacy of their room to masturbate, and I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't an option for you.

Anyway! No, masturbating this way will not be bad for you in the long run, as long as you are not hurting yourself when you're doing it quickly. Sometimes people feel a temporary loss of sensitivity or feeling if they're masturbating a lot or quickly, and generally taking a break for a few days helps with that.
Arasyil
not a newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2021 9:24 pm
Age: 16
Preferred pronouns: She her
Location: USA

Re: Rushing masturbation

Unread post by Arasyil »

tyyy for the reply Carly!! I can't really explain why I get negative feelings when I don't take my time with it, i guess cause i feel like I'm not treating masturbation / my body like it's special, just using it for the pleasure.

Which yeah ik it's dumb right because it's my own body but that's just what I think. Altho I think it will help if I think of it as doing the best I can, thanks :).

I don't share a room but I just get really embarrassed and nervous that ppl in my house can hear me or tell what I'm doing, even off like the bed moving or something. I know nobody's paying attention or can probably not even hear the sound of my bed or hands moving but I just can't concentrate really when thinking it's possible. That's why I use the shower time as I can turn on the fan and it and the water will hopefully mask the noise.

Im so glad it won't be bad for me in the long run, I'll try and take breaks tho cause yeah I kinda noticed less sensitivity and was worried (morning and evening shower lol!).
Carly
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 81
Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2020 9:13 pm
Age: 29
Primary language: English
Preferred pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity and orientation: Bisexual
Location: American Midwest

Re: Rushing masturbation

Unread post by Carly »

Thanks for explaining what you meant by it making you feel bad, Arasyil. I don't think it sounds silly! You're right - masturbation is totally a form of self-care and you definitely deserve to feel special. What you said reminds me of the Scarleteen article How to Date Yourself. I'm glad assuring you that you're doing the best you can helped you. :)

Also, I do think it would be worth a shot to try it alone in your room to see how it makes you feel, or maybe even a time when you happen to be home alone or home with less people than usual. If you feel in your gut that it's just not the right place, that's totally valid. Just wanted to encourage you to explore an alternative if masturbating in the shower is making you feel a little disconnected from yourself.
Arasyil
not a newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2021 9:24 pm
Age: 16
Preferred pronouns: She her
Location: USA

Re: Rushing masturbation

Unread post by Arasyil »

Tysm, I'll check out that article and yea exactly, so I guess I'll try it in my bedroom when I can get a time with nobody home and see how I feel about it.

:)
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