Scarleteen

Hi,
I am a sophomore in college. very recently in the 2 past weeks I dealt with a pregnancy scare (thankfully I got thru it, & I am fine & not pregnant). anyway, it was quite emotionally scarring for me and ever since then I have been dealing with guilt, anxiety, and almost trauma over what happened. I wanted to turn to here to see if these feelings would be normal ...even after knowing I'm fine and NOT pregnant?

basically this happened with a guy who is not even my boyfriend but who I dated. (IMO we did not go "all the way" but basically I had a freak out from pre-ejaculate from his tip almost going into me, in my mind I did not lose my virginity to him as we didn't have full on sex). first...I feel completely guilty about even going that far with a guy who I was not in a relationship with. I think the mental stress and anxiety I experienced has still not really gone away. I also told my mom what happened (she was very supportive) because the stress of it all was too much for me to handle on my own alone at college. that also has made me feel guilty and ashamed for having to tell her such a thing (I'm from a catholic family and it was the hardest thing I have EVER had to admit). the entire event has pretty much changed my entire life and has also caused plenty other damage...I missed class & sports practice because of anxiety over the situation and I'm basically missing a game for my team.
now, I have been hearing from my friends he's been telling people we have had sex and now I feel even more guilty and slutty over the entire event. I don't think he has any idea of the mental stress this has caused me, and how him telling others hurts me.

I wanted to seek advice here and ask if these feelings are normal...if anyone has gone thru a scare like this or has dealt with words being spread about them, and if they have also felt this way. I want to know if anyone has any advice for a college girl like me going thru this and whether it would be helpful or not to seek a therapist/counselor...im thinking it would be helpful for me and my mom also agrees. it's hard to find information online about emotional trauma/sadness from a pregnancy scare/sexual guilt and seeing someone to talk about it
thank you so much
-crystalflower

Hi crystalflower,

I'm sorry the stress and fallout of the scare has been so intense for you. However, it sounds like you've already done some thinking about why it's been so intense, and that's an excellent step in taking care of yourself. If you're thinking speaking to a counselor about this would be helpful, then I think that's a sound next step. Even if there doesn't turn out to be an underlying anxiety disorder at play here, a counselor can help you work through all these feelings in a safe space. When you're looking for therapists, it may help to specify that you're looking specifically for help around the fall-out from a pregnancy scare and sexual guilt, since it lets the potential therapist know if they're a good fit for you.

Since his telling people what happened is contributing to these guilty feelings for you, do you feel like you can contact him and ask him to stop?