Loneliness bites.

When you want support through something scary or rough, and help pulling yourself together and getting through, this is the place.
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We ask that users looking for general, ongoing emotional support post in this area of the boards, and that you use this space to both ask for, give and receive that support primarily from each other, rather than from our staff and volunteers. As a staff, we simply are often too overextended with all we need to do in running the organization and its services to do that for extended periods of time, and one of our main aims of our community at the boards has always been to facilitate peers to better be there for each other.

Users often report that they have no in-person peers they can talk to or seek support from: we want this to be a space for online peer support and somewhere everyone can get some practice asking for, getting and giving support so that doing it with people in your lives feels more doable.

Please remember that neither staff, volunteers nor your fellow users can provide or replace mental healthcare when that is something you need. Users struggling with issues like anxiety, depression, abuse or physical health issues are strongly encouraged to seek out qualified, in-person help with those issues in addition to peer or staff support.
al
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Loneliness bites.

Unread postby al » Sun Nov 22, 2020 9:56 am

Being a person can be tough and lonely sometimes, but especially now. I'm feeling some of that loneliness and wondering - what do you like to do for yourself when you're feeling lonely? Do you reach out to people, or take care of your body, or do something else? Would love to hear what you're doing to feel connected and loved. <3
Nothing happens in contradiction to nature, only in contradiction to what we know of it. -Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully

Mo
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Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread postby Mo » Mon Nov 23, 2020 5:29 pm

I haven't been in the habit of having phone calls or video chats with people very much, before this year, but I've been trying to set up more regular chats with friends so I can feel a bit more connected to folks I am not able to see in person right now. To be honest, it doesn't help as much as I wish it did, but it is something, at least.

bikinksterboy
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Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread postby bikinksterboy » Sat Dec 12, 2020 12:59 pm

using video more in calls with my girlfriend has helped me a lot wrt feeling more connected to people, and I also try to care for my body when I can. Sometimes that bites back as it can become a procrastinating activity or a burden/compulsive, but it's been good generally. I want to be more regular with my self care but I've got a lot on my plate otherwise so I just haven't had the time to work something out
"~Take a moment to think of just~"

~flexibility, love, and trust~"

Melamyl
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Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread postby Melamyl » Wed Dec 16, 2020 4:30 am

Surround yourself with great friends that will accompany you through bad and good times. We don't really need many friends, we just need a few who's always there to listen. Reach out to those few you have, they'll surely give you comfort when you most need it.

LovePineapples
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Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread postby LovePineapples » Sat Dec 19, 2020 11:01 am

al wrote:Being a person can be tough and lonely sometimes, but especially now. I'm feeling some of that loneliness and wondering - what do you like to do for yourself when you're feeling lonely? Do you reach out to people, or take care of your body, or do something else? Would love to hear what you're doing to feel connected and loved. <3


Hey there, I'm in the exact same position in you. It feels horrible. It just weighs us down and leaves us feeling not likeable or wanted (for me anyway).

As for what can 'help'... hmm.. I've found that doing things I really enjoy, on my own, has been more productive then 'trying' to connect with others. Sometimes the act in itself, of having to reach out to people, makes the loneliness worse (this especially applies if you get rejected a lot). We on the forum are here for you, remember that.

As for things you can do.. well it depends on who you are. If you're an athletic person, perhaps setting up a fitness goal and working towards it may help you. If you're artsy (like me), drawing.. painting.. sketching, just doing it a lot and improving your skills will give you a sense of accomplishment and comfort.

This is all considering you're lonely temporarily. If it's something long term.. I'd work on learning to enjoy your own company, and trying to make new friends (if the one's present already aren't communicating with you). I wish you the best, fellow human. You're not alone, believe me.

idk anymore
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Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread postby idk anymore » Sat Dec 19, 2020 3:10 pm

Yeah, I agree. Trying to connect usually makes me feel like shit. All the good relationships I've built with people have come from a lot of interaction over time. Taking time to myself has never really helped either. I've found that I do best when I don't have time to think. You should always take care of yourself tho.
I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You're not scared. You're an asshole.

~Morgan Freeman

kvyber
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Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread postby kvyber » Sat Feb 27, 2021 6:31 pm

Prayers helps me a lot in these difficult times during pandemic.

Emily N
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Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread postby Emily N » Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:58 am

This isn't so much a tip as a self-observation about connecting with others during this time -
I feel very thankful for the technology to do video calls that have allowed me to do cooking projects with my sister over Zoom and have sparked group calls with family I haven't talked to in years. But, online socializing is definitely more exhausting for me than in person socializing, and won't ever be a full replacement. Sometimes, I find myself getting anxious that if I don't consistently communicate with friends that our relationship will get lost. I'm trying to remind myself that it's natural (and often beautiful) that relationships change over time, and just because I lose touch with someone now, it doesn't mean that our friendship in the past (or future) is less valuable.

Mo
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Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread postby Mo » Tue Mar 30, 2021 3:15 pm

I've really appreciated hearing from a lot of friends lately the general sentiment of "I get that communication right now is hard for a lot of us, please don't assume I don't like you if you don't hear from me and I won't assume that about you either; when we can reconnect again I will be so happy to." I know that losing touch can feel painful but it is nice to see so many folks being understanding that especially right now it can be difficult to keep up even with our favorite people.

KurtisC
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Re: Loneliness bites.

Unread postby KurtisC » Thu Apr 01, 2021 12:27 pm

I live in my imagination. Always have.


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