I think I need help

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wolfcub
not a newbie
Posts: 53
Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2020 12:26 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: I generally don't care about what the world says
My primary language: English
My pronouns: he/him/his
My sexual identity and orientation: heterosexual
Location: Allendale, MI

I think I need help

Unread postby wolfcub » Sat Apr 18, 2020 8:47 am

I just got a message warning me that something that I posted violated Scarleteen's user agreements. Judging from what I said, I'm assuming its because I was just venting some frustrations and came off as......let's just say a bit too aggressive. It made me realize how intense my emotions are and that I probably need help. Is there any way to manage my sexual frustration in a way that doesn't end with me venting onto other people?

I really like Scarleteen. It has given me a place to talk about things that I was too anxious to talk about to anyone in person. It's helped me become more comfortable with the idea of sex and just dating in general in a way that random articles on the internet were never able to do. So I really don't like the idea of getting kicked off because I did something wrong. But I honestly don't know what to do. The quarentine hasn't helped with handling my sexual frustration, nor has it helped me gain any experience with dating in general. The feelings just seem to keep building up like a balloon inside me ready to burst and I don't know of a way to get rid of them other than to vent my anger and frustration onto the world in the form of an angry internet comment.

I guess it's also worth noting that these feelings almost never come out to anyone I meet in person. I've talked about my frustrations with dating with my peers before, but they never seemed to do anything. That angry comment I mentioned earlier seemed to be the only thing that really calmed me down.

I think it's pretty clear that I need help. Does anyone have any tips on how to keep my emotions in check?

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 6809
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: I think I need help

Unread postby Sam W » Sat Apr 18, 2020 9:21 am

Hi wolfcub,

So, part of why that warning was sent was because we have to maintain certain guidelines to keep the space here safe for everyone. That being said, it doesn't mean venting is off-limits to you as a coping mechanism, especially if you've found it helps you get those emotions out.

One strategy that can be really helpful is to write whatever thoughts or feelings you need to vent out on a piece of paper and then tear the paper up once you're done. Heck, you could even use this tool to get those feelings out while knowing no one else will see them: https://screamintothevoid.com/.

Beyond that, can you give me a sense of whether you learned any ways of managing anger or frustration when you were growing up? Sometimes the strategies we learn as kids can come back to help us when we're older.


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