Hi! I’m asking , because I frankly do not know who else talk to about this, so why not to a bunch of strange people?
I am 17 and in a relationship with a guy that is 19. He is a wonderful person and we met 2 years ago and have been together for over a year. I fell madly in love with him from the beginning and I had my first time with him, and he with me.
Now I just often find myself wondering about our future together and if I want him in mine... We have promised each other that we would be our first and last, and for a long time I enjoyed that thought and thought it possible. He is actually really great and an awsome boyfriend. A very genuine and nice person with a big heart.
I have come to the conclusion though, that I still want to explore my options more and not feel like I settled to early because I fear that in the long run it would break our hearts more. But then I also have the fear that I would regret breaking it off with him because I would never find another like him.
I’m not just afraid of that , but also because of the fact that he and my family are very very close and everybody loves him. That he moved to my country to study here and I am the only actual thing making him happy here because his family is now very far far away.
So in a sense I feel very guilty and tried for months to clear my head and see how I love him and that I was just being stupid and going through a phase and that I would not let myself give up something so wonderful as him..
But I noticed more today that when he says he loves me, I struggle to say it back.. and when he tries to have sex I am never in the mood or struggle to finish..
I feel kind of trapped in myself and with my circumstances and don’t now what to do because I know I will break his heart into millions of pieces if I start the conversation..
If someone can give me addvice.. I would be forever greatful