If it's okay, may I ask -
Are you masturbating and looking for a BAM moment of pleasure because you want to/you're horny and want to take care of it this way OR because that's what you've read/society has told you that you should do and that's how you should feel?
(For reference, I'm asking because I'm asexual and don't have a libido, but back around when I was 17/18 and realizing that other people actually masturbated and it wasn't just something on TV, I read a lot of erotica/porn trying to figure out a) what masturbation even was, b) how people esp with vaginas actually masturbated, and c) why people did it/how it was supposed to feel.)
So, what I'm trying to get at is: it might help if you ask yourself why you're masturbating and what it is you really want to get out of it. People masturbate for any number of reasons. They're bored and just need something to do. They're horny and want to relieve the horny feeling. They're sad and want to do something that makes them feel happier. They're angry and need something that will get them in a better mood. They're missing their partner and want to imagine being with them. So, similarly, masturbation can result in you feeling a variety of ways: relieved, happy, content, satisfied, calmer. You can even end up bored, frustrated, lonely, and/or sad depending on why you're masturbating and what mood you're in (that mind/body disconnect Sam W mentioned).