Hi, Halcyon. I'm sorry if you feel like we're missing you here.
I assure you, I don't assume that because someone has a desire for more frequent sex than others (I don't use the term "sex drive" because it tends to be an inaccurate description of how we know human sexual desire does and doesn't work) that something must be wrong or that they are pathological. I myself am someone who has been that way most of my life -- who has had more frequent desire for sex than most of my partners -- if it helps to know that.
I said some of what I did because I'm seeing you describe what could be -- or may not be -- two separate things here: a desire for sex and a desire for touch. Those aren't usually the same thing, even though they can obviously intersect. You also said:
When I was in an in-person relationship, my partners would just ... do other things, even if they were in the same space as me, and I get that they had other things that they wanted to do, but it made me feel anxious and upset that they weren't also touching me, that I had given my body to them and they weren't using or appreciating that gift.
That, to me, sounds like something different than a frequent or even constant desire for sex. You're saying here that not being touched when you could be is upsetting to you, and that's the piece that to me, were it me, I'd be like, "Hmm, that seems like something I should investigate," because we should be able to accept not being touched by others when they're busy with other things pretty easily. And I do think that if we're talking about that level of need, to the point where you feel you aren't appreciated and feel anxious if someone isn't touching you when you want it, that is something that maybe shouldn't be answered by just being touched all the time or being sexual all the time, because it's going to be hard to create those kinds of scenarios that are emotionally healthy for you and/or other folks, and where it might help you most to find some answers or strategies for that that aren't just getting all the touch you want when you want it OR being upset and anxious when you can't.
I also am reading you saying that you want some kind of diagnosis around this, and while I can't say if there is one, a sex therapist would certainly be the right person to start with for that. If you need any help finding one, we can probably help you with that.
That all said, it also may be that some of this is just about you wanting sex more often than any one partner is offering, in which case, if you haven't already been constructing or thinking about open relationships, that also is a potential next step here. By all means, for those of us who desire sex more often than we find a given partner does, this is one common way some of us go about answering those desires. I'm happy to talk with you about that if you want.